The decision i have left to midnight instead of drowning emotionally #25
Greetings my lovely friends and lovers of #midnightowl
For years now I have been living alone, bored and drained, Am seen as a strong woman. Sometimes no calls from family or no one cares to know how am fairing. Except when I call that's when they will seize that opportunity and ask about me. To me I will say am okay, while I fully know am not. But am all alone and sometimess drained emotionally, i need more than just money. People taught when one is married you are living good. Nothing dey bite where she dey.
I don't want to border or discuss it with anyone, not even to my parent, to share my emotions or problems because they have their own burdens that they are carrying and don't want to be worried, to them I can handle anything, worst come to worse i should pray over it and push through it alone.
There are some nights i will stay awake, lost in taughts, reflecting on how long this will continue, the loneliness and boredom. There are times i feel tired even after having a quality sleep at night. I smile publicly but in the close door I feel lost.
But lately I think am willing to talk to someone maybe to my elder sister, she is good at listening and givie attention. I have to be honest with her that am not strong, that I need help and I want to share my worry with her. Am drowning silently i think i need help even though am afraid to admit it.
I can't will keep postponing each day or midnight because at midnight postponing seize, Midnight is not only the time I have to break down alone, it's a time i share my emotions with someone instead of keeping it to myself. Avoiding to speak out has not done me good or made me to be a strong woman rather it has left me in the dark and lonely. Its best i speak out than being alone in my midnight decision.
Thanks for visiting my blog @amara24. Loads of love 💕❤️🥰
Image is mine
It's good to speak to someone when we seem vulnerable. One might look strong outside, but they know what they're going through inside. And sometimes, the night accounts for the thoughts and experiences.