Missed Connections
If you have been following me for awhile, you know the tradition that my friend @a4xjeeper and I have where we visit different fish fries during the season of Lent. Neither of us are Catholic, so we don't really celebrate Lent in the traditional sense, but we both loved fried fish, so it works out well for us. Some years we make it to quite a few Friday fish fries, and others, we might only make it to one, but it's a routine that our wives knowingly and graciously concede to.
While this post isn't specifically about food, I'm going to include it as a submission for the current The Pub writing prompt highlighting your favorite pub food. I will be the first to admit, that fried perch is probably one of my favorite pub foods. Don't get me wrong, I love a good sandwich, burger, or wings, but fried perch is just so delightful when done properly.
@ericvancewalton just wrote a really good post which touched on some feelings regarding the loss of friends, and he and I had a really good though brief conversation about it in the comments. As I thought about that post and my recent visit to one of the our local pubs with my friend, I felt really lucky that he and I still have that connection.
As Mr. Walton indicated, Covid changed a lot of things for a lot of people. There were those who thought it was a joke, and that's their truth to believe, then there were others who leaned the other way, and likewise, that is their truth as well. Unfortunately, this left a bit of a rift between these two groups that is still being felt today. While I know my friend genuinely cares about people and I'm not exactly sure his medical opinion on the pandemic, being a small business owner, this impacted him a bit different than it did myself.
The shutdowns were immensely detrimental to his ability to make a living. Where school was still being taught (though remotely), I still had a full time job and collected a paycheck every other week. Not so for him, and I can appreciate that. Unfortunately, amidst all of this, they continued to do things with friends, making new connections. Connections that my wife and I missed out on as we did our best to isolate and try to do what we felt was right at the time.
I have no clue why Godzilla was on my Pabst Blue Ribbon can, and who TF is Peter?
Sadly, as the lockdowns passed, those new connections seemed to grow while the classic ones remained the same. It doesn't help that my friend has hobbies that quite honestly, I don't have the budget for. As a quite successful business owner, he has a fair amount of disposable income for his "Jeeping". Something that I just can't afford to get into as curious as I may be. Perhaps one day if crypto actually does something I can pick up a used CJ or something, but until then, I just have to cherish these small moments when they come up.
It was a really nice evening on Friday sitting at the bar with my friend of 37 years and talking about whatever. We talked a lot about his business, we talked about my business, we talked about the current generation entering the workforce and how dismal it looks. We talked about Jeeping of course, and all kinds of other stuff.
While it may have only been a couple hours on a Friday night, it was quite refreshing and a connection that I have honestly really missed.
I think part of it is the fact that my friend is just a more social person that I am. It's easy for him to talk to people. It's always been quite a bit more difficult for me. The connections I do have are strong, but they are far fewer. I'm not sure that will ever change. As hard as I may try, I just don't see my circle expanding much beyond where it is now. My fear however is that my small circle will instead contract, and at that point what am I left with? As I expressed in the comments the other day. My wife and I are a lot for each other, but we can't always be everything.
I'm not sure where I am going with this. I'm just reflecting on a nice evening with a close friend and reestablishing a connection I have missed quite a bit over the past year.
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That’s a pretty cool idea the fish fry Friday. If my girlfriend wasn’t allergic to fish I’d be joining in…..
Neither of our wives like fish which is why we make it a guys thing hitting up different KoC halls or restaurants each year during Lent.
oh wow. I am working on a video post along this same vein. How ironic. Yeah, I have a small circle too. More so these days. I am okay with that though.
As for fried fish. I prefer catfish. If not fried I am all about any kind of fish for the most part. It is so cool you have that tradition.
I've only had catfish a few times in my life and I haven't really been impressed. I don't know if it is just a flavor thing or what.
It can depend a lot on the breading. I don't like a lot of spices in my fish breading. So plain fried is my favorite. It could also depend if you ate farm raised or fresh caught from the lake or rivers too. I like the fresh caught stuff best.
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I've always equated friendships over the years of going through "seasons". People enter and exit your life during those different seasons of time. Sometimes they show back up and some are there for a lifetime. As I've gotten older, that close friendship pool as narrowed as well. I think part of that is the older I get, the less interested I am in the social aspects that are often required to meet new people who become those friends.
As to fried fish...love it. One of my favorite things.
I think that is a good way to look at it. My friend now is obviously very focused on building his business. I as well am working on maybe shifting careers, so I am sure that doesn't leave as much time as we would like. Probably more than we take advantage of though!
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That's great you got to spend some time with your old friend! The contracting circle of friends you speak of is exactly what happened to me. My oldest friend got remarried and moved to Washington D.C. and the rest are busy with other things. It doesn't help matters that I've become a caregiver and I have to preplan time with friends way in advance. It's impossible now to plan things at the last minute.
The fish looks great! I have to seek out a few fish fries around here. We have a brewery close by that has decent fish and chips (Inver Grove Brewing).
I bet you have some really amazing fish and chips in Minnesota! I'm hoping to make it over to Duluth at some point this summer. I haven't been there since I was a kid and I don't think my wife has ever been there. I'm lucky that my one friend and I get in a lot of rounds of disc golf in the summer, but we can typically go the full winter without seeing each other. The friend in this post is even a little less so just because he is always so busy with work and his social calendar fills quick with all of his other friends.
We’re lucky in that regard! Have you ever been north of Duluth? If not, id highly recommend driving up there to at least Lutsen. It’s absolutely gorgeous. Awesome that you two can get together like that in the summer. I have a friend who I used to do bike rides with. I think I’ll see if he’s up for that when the weather breaks.
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Lovely tradition you have. I am also a big fan of fish, bigger as time pass, I guess that's coming with age. 😍
I don't eat it as much as I should, but it is so good!