Embracing forgiveness

Image from canva

This prompt reminded me of a time in senior high school when my friend did something to me. I really can’t remember what she said but it hurt me so much and I instantly cried in-front of her. After about a minute, I went to her bedside a with food I bought and ate it with her.

Just yesterday, my friend posted a video she took of me a while ago in school. I was scrolling through my WhatsApp status and I saw a preview of it. Right away, I knew what it was and I called her right away to delete it. She just kept laughing cause she knew I don’t take anything seriously. But I was so serious this time round. I was quite disappointed that she posted it cause I had even told her to delete it from her phone. I really had to make her feel that I didn’t like that.

But after a while, I called her back and we kept talking about our usual stuff. I can give so many of such examples.

I really don’t see the need to hold grudges or to continue being angry at someone or a situation. The thing has happened, holding on to it will only cause you pain and suffering.

We currently have a situation at home that is just so bad. It even had my mom hospitalized from the shock and just thinking about it. But whenever they talk about the situation, I find a reason to laugh. Cause what’s the point? You can’t reverse what’s happened. You just have to accept it and move forward.

I think that forgiving myself and others is one of the easiest things for me. I often make a lot of mistakes and if people didn’t overlook them, I probably would be all alone. As forgiving as I can be though, I protect my heart with an extra shield so that you don’t get to hurt me like that again. I may still talk to you, but it just wouldn’t be the same anymore.

And that’s what I think my problem is. I just turn cold. My cousin said she doesn’t think I’m normal, cause it doesn’t make sense for me to be carefree about everything around me.

What I’ve learned is that people only hurt you because you give them that power. I think that this person is my friend and she means a lot to me. So naturally what she says or does gets to me. But I’m also now starting to realize that you can be my friend and all that, but the least I expect of you, the better. When I don’t have expectations of you, then I don’t get disappointed. Everyone is flawed, and so you can expect that they should always act in the way that you expect.