The Power of Speaking Up: How I Learned to Stand My Ground.

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One habit I have adopted over the years and has truly changed my life for the better is learning not to let people just do things to me and get away with it. I used to be that kind of person who would laugh things off, stay silent, or try not to react just so I wouldn’t offend anyone or be seen as rude. But the truth is, I realized that when you keep letting things slide, people start to take you for granted—and worse, they think it’s okay to disrespect you.

This realization hit me properly when I resumed university. At first, I was just excited to start a new chapter, meet new people, and make friends. I’m naturally a calm guy—someone who doesn't really talk and just likes to avoid troublem i also don't like confrontation, and i just try to be cool with everyone. So, when I got into school, I was looking for people in my department to connect with. I met the course rep, and he added me to the departmental group chat. I was feeling good—because i finally gained admission into the university. Also, i was in a new environment, and I just thought that it would be nice to join in on their conversations and just blend in.

So, I started chatting normally, trying to involve myself. Out of nowhere, one of the guys just dropped a comment: “Who be this Juwon guy, sef? You no even sabi talk.” I was stunned. Like, where did that come from? I didn’t even know the guy, hadn’t said anything rude, and I was just trying to vibe. His comment honestly pissed me off, and I felt embarrassed because everyone in the group saw it. I tried to explain myself at first, but he kept pushing it and making it worse.

At that point, I just had to clear him straight. I told him, “Bro, you don’t even know me. You can’t just talk to me anyhow you want, just shut up" Immediately I said that, he calmed down, and i could really feel the whole group’s energy shift. I guess they didn’t expect me to talk like that, especially since they hadn’t even met me yet. Later, when we eventually met in person, he said he was just joking—but I honestly don’t think he was.

That experience taught me something important : yes, silence can be powerful sometimes, but there are also times when you just have to stand your ground. People need to know that you’re not someone they can just walk over. If you don’t speak up when you’re being disrespected, they’ll keep doing it. But once they see that you can stand up for yourself, that respect comes naturally. I’m still calm, still respectful—but now, I choose to let people know their boundaries, and that has helped me a lot.

Thanks for reading.

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