The Journey Between Fitting In and Finding Myself.

Fitting in can sometimes feel like a battle between being true to oneself and becoming who others expect you to be. You want to belong, to be seen, to be accepted, but in the process, it’s easy to lose small parts of who you truly are. I’ve lived this experience myself , and one of the most defining moments of that struggle came when I stepped into university life for the first time.

Transitioning into university wasn’t actually an easy thing for me. Everything was unfamiliar. The environment, the faces, and the pace of life—it all felt strange and overwhelming. I was surrounded by people I didn’t know, and for someone who had always been shy and quiet, it felt like I was thrown into deep water without knowing how to swim.

I still remember the first day I entered my class. The room was already half full. Students were chatting, laughing, some already seated in groups like they had known each other for years. I was extremely nervous because of the way they were starting at me, so i quietly walked to the back and sat alone. I didn’t say a word to anyone, not because I didn’t want to—but because I genuinely didn’t know how. That day, I felt small and invisible. The fear of being judged or rejected held my voice hostage.

But as days passed, I began to realize that staying in my shell would only make the experience harder. Slowly, I started to associate with people, mostly the guys in my class. For some reason, it was easier to relate with them—maybe because there was less pressure to be a certain way. I found myself laughing at their jokes, engaging in casual conversations, and even sitting with them during lectures. It felt like a small victory each time I opened up, even just a little.

However, that growth came with a sacrifice. I had to let go of the way I normally relate with people when I meet them for the first time. Usually, I observe, I stay quiet, I wait. But in this new environment, waiting meant being left behind. So I forced myself to change—to initiate conversations, to smile more, to show interest even when it felt uncomfortable. And that wasn’t easy.

But in this uncomfortable space, I discovered something unexpected about myself. I realized I’m not actually as quiet and gentle as I thought I was. Deep down, I’m a bit of a talkative. I enjoy meaningful conversations and connecting with people—but that's only when I feel safe. Only when I see someone as a friend, someone who wouldn’t mock, judge, or misunderstand me. That was a powerful realization. I had spent so much of my life believing I was just naturally reserved, but the truth was, I simply needed the right environment to feel free.

Honestly, trying to fit in taught me the value of adaptability, but more importantly, it helped me uncover a hidden part of myself. The tension between acceptance and authenticity is real, but sometimes, in trying to belong, you end up finding the truest parts of who you are.

Thanks for reading.

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