Not Everyone Will Choose You—and That’s Okay

Honestly, one thing I’ve come to realize as I grow older is that life has a way of teaching you lessons that slowly open your mind and help you see things differently. Experiences—especially the hard ones—shape how we think, how we act, and most importantly, how we value ourselves.

If there’s one thing about me that has really changed, it’s how I react to certain situations—particularly when it comes to rejection from girls. I won’t lie, I’ve had my fair share of rejections. In the past, I used to take them way too personally. It would hurt deeply, and sometimes I’d even find myself trying too hard just to make someone like me back. Looking back now, I can see how desperate that made me look—and worse, how it made me feel about myself.

I remember this particular girl I met in school. I had gone to visit a friend who stayed not too far from my house, and that’s where I saw her. She seemed really cool, so I approached her and asked for her number. To my surprise, she gave it to me. I decided not to message her immediately—just to give it a bit of time. When I finally did message her, she didn’t reply for hours. That alone should have been a red flag, but I ignored it. Instead of just letting it go, I called her and told her to check her messages and reply to me.

Eventually, she replied, but it was with a cold, dry message that carried no interest or remorse. I should have known then that she wasn’t into me. But instead of walking away, I kept texting her—even double texting. I just wanted her to like me. It got to the point where I became so frustrated that I started throwing subtle shades at her out of anger. She ended up blocking me on WhatsApp.

That experience wasn’t the only one like that. I’ve had multiple situations like that where I was doing too much for someone who didn’t even care. And to be honest, it became one of the main reasons why I chose to remain single for a while. I needed space to grow and understand myself.

Later on, I met another girl. She was fair-skinned, attractive, and had this calm vibe I liked. I got her number from one of her male friends, and I started chatting with her. At first, it felt like we were vibing, and the conversation flowed. Then she asked me to send her a picture. I was hesitant, but she insisted. So, I sent her one of me wearing a black shirt. After that, she went completely silent. No compliment, no comment, no reaction—just silence. That was the moment I knew I wasn’t going to chase again. I didn’t double text, I didn’t try to convince her. I just ended the conversation and moved on.

For me, that was a win. That was growth. I’ve finally learned that I don’t need to beg for attention or love. If someone isn’t interested, that’s okay. I’m not going to force anyone to stay or try to convince them of my worth. I now believe in choosing only those who genuinely choose me, too.

The truth is, rejection doesn’t sting as much anymore—not because I’m numb, but because I’ve grown. I’ve built a level of self-respect that won’t allow me to tolerate one-sided energy. And honestly, I’m proud of that.

Thanks for reading.

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