IF EVERYTHING WAS A DREAM

Supposing that on the next day I would open my eyes and find out that all that I had led my life up to that moment is just a dream, I would not call to my mind the aspect of excitement to be the first one.

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It would be silence.

It is that quiet time when you are sitting on the edge of the bed and just can not comprehend what you have been given not a reset button, but a second chance.

The option of being a new person with the same kind of mind but a new blank slate.

And, frankly, I would not make it all different.

My curiosity would not be changed.

I wouldn’t change my ambition.

My need to create something meaningful is something that I would not change.

But I would change the manner of my having been so impatient of myself.

I was very busy with rushing around. I would deal with life like a game and not like a process.

Without all this being a dream I would have woken up and made myself calm rather than being in a hurry.

I’d stop chasing validation. I would not need to make people constantly aware of what I am doing. In lieu of this, I would stop making attempts to explain myself to the people who did not even listen to me in the first place.

One of the aspects that I would not change is my interest in learning. I would continue to give preference to technology, business, and ideas. I would remain inclined to building capabilities, resolving problems, and trying to come up with the way the world works. That element of me is a necessity as though it is not what I was brought up to, but it is what I was.

Nevertheless, I will address something in the manner I take failure seriously.

I now was assigning excessive importance to mistakes. The failure of all of them was a judgment. Any denial was that I was behind. Failure in case of a reset would be considered information not identity.

I’d experiment more. I’d risk embarrassment. I would set things in motion sooner than I was ready.

Emotionally, I’d be softer.

I would be a better listener and less of an assumption.

I would be present and never necessarily five steps ahead in my thoughts.

I would rather be sincere than to be impressive.

I would not flee away to distractions. I would not place myself numbing with infinity scrolling, auditory or imaginary efficiency. I would protect my focus as these are cash.

And now the question arises, good way or bad way?

In my opinion, most individuals consider this to be a movie in light and darkness, good and evil, a glamorous choice. But real life isn’t that clean.

The evil way is generally nuanced. It’s comfort over growth. Ego over learning. Here and now satisfaction against immortality. It is not the annihilation but it is stagnation.

Or the fine path is no the perfection. It’s just intentional living. Even doing what is right even in the inconvenient situation would be difficult.

I would then be inclined to the good, but not the unrealistic one.

I’d still make mistakes. I’d still get confused. I’d still have doubts. But I’d be more aware. More reflective. Less reactive.

I would not even wake up to be perfect since it was merely a dream.

I would get up trying to be honest, patient and steady.

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It is not necessarily all about being good or bad since, perhaps, the right course can be seen as the one that is true.

It is concerning having eventually decided to lead a conscious life instead of living on automatic pilot.