Her Haunting Smile (Nonfiction)-Inkwell Nonfiction Prompt 55

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I was about 15 and my cousin was about 13 when we saw her.

When I was 15 we lived in a two-bedroom apartment. The house was old and from time to time strange occurrences happened to us. We eventually moved from that house, especially because of the broken pipelines. We owned that house. So, we sold it but the money was not enough to buy a new house in a better neighborhood. So, we rented a house and several others in those days.

That night, my cousins, and my aunt were staying at our house until late at night. Their house was at the same apartment complex as ours. So, we always saw each other. I used to spend a lot of time with my cousins growing up. We were close.

My sister and I shared a room. The rooms were adjacent to each other. That night, my cousin and I were playing a board game and having fun in the living room. My other cousin was watching T.V. Later that night, we all wanted to watch a horror movie called The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005).

My mother and my aunt were busy talking with each other. They didn't pay attention to us. Everything was normal. And my sister was playing with us when she said, "I want to go buy some snacks for the movie we are going to watch. I want to buy some chocolate bars, marshmallows, gummy bears, chips, and Cheetos."

My sister went to our room to change her clothes. After about a minute or two, I looked up and saw someone who looked exactly like my sister. Her back was to me, so I didn't immediately see her face. But, she looked back and smiled at me. I couldn't see her face clearly because there was a distance between us. I thought she was my sister, but she wasn't. She was wearing a long black dress. My sister had a long black dress. She was someone or rather should I say she was something else. How do I know she wasn't my sister? Because at the same time that she was smiling at me, my sister came out of the room. So, I saw two people who looked exactly like my sister, but one of them wasn't my sister. The other one, the one who came out of the room, was my actual sister. They wore different clothing.

This strange occurrence lasted for a short moment, but I know what I saw. She soon disappeared. Because I was shocked, and staring at that thing who looked like my sister, my cousin noticed and traced my gaze, and she saw her too!

"Did you see her?" I asked right after she disappeared.

"Yes! Who was she?" my cousin replied, as shocked as me, expecting me to give her an explanation.

It was a strange moment.

My sister went out to buy the snacks and left me and my cousin in shock, thinking about what just happened.

Later that night, we told my sister what we saw. But, she laughed and didn't believe us.

"Are you watching the movie with me, or you're too scared?" My sister asked, teasing us.

"Yes, it was probably nothing. You bought all these snacks. Let's watch the movie," my cousin said, avoiding what we saw.

My sister looked at me waiting for a response, I finally said "Okay, let's watch it." I was sure that the movie would not scare me as much as Her.

We watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose. I didn't enjoy the movie as much, knowing that I had seen Her. During the movie, my gaze would fly to the spot where she was standing from time to time. And I would think she would come back at any second and come closer to me. So, I could see her haunting smile better. My cousin would look at me, knowing that what we saw was real. She could understand that the fear was real.

I told this story to my family, friends, and my aunt and uncle. But, they didn't believe me. My cousin used to back me up on it, but recently she no longer wants to accept that we saw someone who was not my sister. I will never forget her sinister, haunting smile. There was an air of darkness about her.

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5 comments

What a powerful experience! Not sleeping for several nights. Did you continue seeing her after that? It was the crucial moment to call an exorcist ha ha. Good story.

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No I didnt see her again 😃
Thanks for reading ❤️

0E-8 BEE

Old houses keep this type of negative energy, the stories of their inhabitants and their misfortunes lie there. I would have run away from that place without hesitation, I am very fearful. Hehe

Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

Good day.

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Yes, we moved from that house. But, the memories remain.
Thanks for reading ❤️

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The conversational tone makes it feel like the narrator is recounting the experience directly to the reader, drawing us in... The build-up of suspense is effective - starting with the narrator's innocent plan to watch a movie with his sister and cousin, then escalating to the chilling moment when he sees what appears to be his sister's doppelgänger

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Yes, I guess she was my sister's doppelgänger.
Thanks for reading ❤️

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Great hook and foreshadowing to start this #CNF, @lenaspiritual. I think it would have enhanced your story if you had developed the earlier mention of strange things happening to your family at your earlier home, and then explored the encounter with your sister's doppelganger a little more too. I was very keen to hear more but it felt like you wrote it a bit more on the surface. How did it make you feel? How did you relate to it? It can feel quite surreal when one sees someone that they should not! I know as I have also experienced this and I think this piece needed that to be conveyed with a bit more show than tell - we want to experience it with you through our senses and not merely be told what happened.

A little tip: put your writing through a spelling and grammar checker before publishing in order to catch little errors and elevate your writing. eg: the prompt was haunting and this was repeatedly mis-spelt as hunting.

Thank you for sharing a story from your life with The Ink Well.

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Yes, more show than tell. I should learn to stay away from telling and show more. As for my feelings, at that moment I was pretty much shocked and later when we were watching the movie, fear crept in and as time passed I couldn't forget her smile.
I corrected the misspelling. Thank you for pointing to it.
Thank you for reading. ❤️
Thank you for your support. 😍

0E-8 BEE

Wow, I hope you get to solve that mystery of Her. You two were brave watching an Exorcism movie later.

If your cousin saw it too, that means it wasn't imagined. It was real.

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I didn't see her again. The movie was pretty scary but remembering her smile was scarier. Yes, my cousin saw her too. I believe in what I saw.
Thanks for reading ❤️

0E-8 BEE

That's nice saying you believe in what you saw. Thanks for sharing ☺️ .

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