The Road I choose.

"Are you seriously leaving again?"

I stopped at the doorway and looked back at my mother, she was sitting on the only old sofa in the house and she was taring at me like i had just announced that i was going to Mars.

"Mummy, I am not leaving again, I am just going to another city for work o."

"Another city?" She laughed "Wasn't Lagos another city? Then Abuja. Before Abuja, you were in Ibadan, now you are telling me another city?"

ChatGpt

I smiled.

"Mummy, things are changing."

"Things are always changing with you, Harbeegail."

That was my mother, she never really understood why I could not stay in one place for too long since I finished high school.. i had moved from one place to another,i had worked in Lagos, then left for Ibadan when i got a better opportunity, from Ibadan, i moved to Abuja, now it was six months later, i had another job offer in Port Harcourt.

All my friends thought I was restless, and my mother thought I was running away from something.

Maybe they were both right, "Harbeegail," my younger sister, Miracle called from the kitchen, "come and help me carry this bag."

"I will do it."

"You have been saying that for ten minutes."

I laughed and went to help her.

That evening, the whole house was strangely quiet, my mother had already started giving me the usual lecture.

"You cannot keep moving like this," she said, "At your age, you should be thinking about university"

"I am thinking about University ma"

"Where?"

I paused.

"Wherever life takes me."

She shook her head.

"That is exactly what I am talking about."

Miracle laughed from across the room.

"Mummy, leave her, maybe she's just looking for herself."

My mother looked at her.

"And has she found herself?"

Miracle shrugged.

"I don't know, ask her"

Everyone laughed.

But later that night, I sat outside alone and started thinking about everything.

Maybe my mother was right, maybe i had been moving too much.

Like every time something became difficult, i would pack my bags, every time a job became too stressful, i looked for another one, whenever I felt I was stuck, I convinced myself that the answer was somewhere else, I had told myself I was just being ambitious.

But was I really ambitious.... or was I simply afraid of staying long enough to face things?hmm..
but still, the next morning, I was ready to leave.

My mother came outside with me.

"Harbeegail."

"Yes, Mummy?"

She looked at my bag, "Do you even know where you are going this time?"

"Port Harcourt."

She smiled slightly.

"No, i mean in life."

I didn't answer.

She sighed.

"You know the saying, 'A rolling stone gathers no moss'?"

I smiled "Yes."

"It means a person who keeps moving does not settle or become stuck, sometimes that is good, but Harbeegail don't use it as an excuse to keep running from every uncomfortable situation."

That one entered my chest, "Mummy, I am not running."

"Then don't be."

I looked at her.

"What if I fail there?"

"Then you learn."

"What if I don't like the job?"

"Then you decide what to do."

"What if I have to leave again?"

She smiled.

"Then leave, but make sure you are moving toward something, not just away from something."

For a moment, I had nothing to say.

Miracle came outside carrying my shoes.

"Your ride is here" I took the shoes from her.

"Thanks, "As I got into the car, my mother waved.

"Call me when you arrive!"

"I will!"

"And Harbeegil?"

I looked back.

"Yes?"

"Don't forget where home is."

I smiled.

"I won't."

As the car drove away, I looked through the window at the streets I had known for the past six months, my mother was right about one thing, moving wasn't automatically progress.

A rolling stone might not gather moss, but that didn't mean every road it travelled was taking it somewhere, sometimes you need to move and also too, you need to stay.

And sometimes, the hardest thing is you knowing the difference.

And for the very first time in many years, I was not excited simply because I was leaving, I was excited because I finally knew what I was moving toward.

Thanks for stopping by
Harbeegail 💘