What’s Disappointed Me Most in Adulthood, and How I’ve Worked to Improve It(wk260)

photos are mine.

One of the biggest disappointments I’ve faced in adulthood is realizing how little we’re taught about emotional intelligence growing up. You go through years of school learning about algebra, grammar, and photosynthesis, but no one really prepares you for managing emotions, setting boundaries, or handling conflict in real life. I found myself in my early twenties, equipped with degrees but emotionally unequipped to deal with things like burnout, relationships, or even just disappointment.

For a while, I kept thinking I was just "too sensitive" or “bad at adulting.” But over time, I realized that many people around me were going through the same thing. We were all navigating careers, friendships, loss, and rejection without the tools to really process it. That was disappointing, not just on a personal level, but in the sense that our society doesn’t prioritize emotional wellness the way it should.

The turning point came when I hit a rough patch, nothing dramatic, but enough to make me stop and reassess. I started reading more about emotional maturity, setting healthy boundaries, and understanding my triggers. I saw a therapist for the first time, which helped more than I expected. I also began journaling regularly, not for anyone else to read, just to get honest with myself. Over time, I got better at naming how I feel and understanding what’s behind those feelings.

Improving in this area hasn’t been a quick fix, and I’m still learning. But I’ve become more self-aware, more patient with myself, and better at communicating clearly with others. I now see emotional intelligence as a lifelong skill set, not just something you pick up on the side.

The disappointment I felt is still there sometimes, especially when I see others struggling with the same gap. But now, instead of feeling stuck, I try to be part of the change, even if it’s just by being honest in conversations, listening without judgment, or setting an example for younger people around me.

Adulthood is full of surprises, but learning to handle your inner world with the same focus you give to your outer life, that’s been the most important lesson for me.