The Struggles and The Healing

If you've struggled with depression write a post about how you've dealt with it.

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So many people especially in my country have not really come to an understanding that there is something called "depression" and that there are people in our midst amongst them who are struggling with depression.

Few days ago, I was speaking with someone and he said "With how beautiful and fun-filled life is, I do not understand why and how someone fall into depression to the extent of committing suicide" and so I answered him "The same way you see how beautiful and fun-filled life is, is the same way those people who fall into depression and felt suicide was the best saw nothing beautiful and fun-filled about life, they saw nothing to hold on to, or hope for, they didn't see any reason to live, to them life is cruel and they were tired of trying." From his countenance I could guess he still does not understand why and how that happens, so I let him be because people never understand what depression is until they experience it, so it is never easy explaining.

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Last year, I lost my mom, to the cold hands of death after much struggle to keep her alive and healthy. A few weeks after her death, she was buried and for everyone's life continued but for me, life stopped. I didn't know what to do with my life, didn't know how to live without her, didn't know how I was going to make decisions or plan without including her.

Ever since I lost my dad, my plans, my life choices, have always involved her and now doing life without her has left a kinda way. I felt myself falling into the abyss, I knew I was slipping away, worst part was that every night, I dreamt of her, and that didn't make matters any better.

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I stopped attending classes, wasn't bothered about anything, stopped dreaming, stopped caring, stayed indoors more, spoke less, although I had support and encouragement from friends but I knew that if I didn't help myself out of the dark place I was no one would and no one would be able to.

So, I started taking the day one step at a time, went out with friends, went to and visited places I always wanted to be, I found myself indulging in buying, so I bought things, not really by impulse but things I have always held back from buying due to financial constraint, I groomed myself to look towards life with positivity, always spoke up whenever I felt a certain way, I bared myself to my friend who also served as my therapist, so he understood how I felt and why I felt that way.

It wasn't an easy step, it wasn't an easy journey. Most days, I still found myself slipping, so I incorporated taking long walks every evening to help me reduce thinking, since I was always indoors throughout the day. It wasn't an easy feat, but we are taking it one step at a time.

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The image in this post is mine.

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