TRYING MY BEST

Sometimes it’s just not good enough, I know now that is why I wish to go harder and further. I have always loved the idea of excellence and achieving success but sometimes I feel it is far from me until I get what I know I am missing. The truth is I do not know exactly what I am missing, but I know the things I am not doing right and knowing myself, if I keep them up, I will never achieve my goals. I want to be successful this year, I want to know the feeling of putting my mind to something and being successful in it. By the end of the year I want to be better financially and I know even though I do not know exactly why I am not there, I know there are certain habit that If I continue will keep me where I am.

I want to stop shooting myself in the foot, so I want to greatly reduce my expenses, and increase my investment. But then the moment I begin to save and become really hungry, I find myself digging into my savings, sometimes with the excuse of the savings needing to save me. The idea is that I want to be disciplined enough to work on my appetite because if I don’t I will continue eating everything I earn, To be honest food is what mostly finishes my money, not because I eat too much, but because am often t td t cok despite having foodstuffs at home and cooked food / fast food a nt cheap. Imagine spending 30,000 naira a week when I am not making much.

I also want to work on my character and integrity. The lack of money often drives me to make reckless and covetous decisions, it makes me take on jobs I do not like because of the money. I do not like doing things for just money, but now I find out that my integrity has been put into question and I need to change it and rid myself of this shame. If I can control myself and my appetite, I know I will save myself a lot. The more I think about it, the more resolute I become, but countless times I have gone back to square one. I hope I can see it through this year though.

PICTURE CREDIT IS MINE

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3 comments

Sending you some Ecency curation votes

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I wonder why you keep reverting to your unproductive behaviors when you know they will hold you back from progressing. You also mention that you don't cook at home for yourself and spend money on food elsewhere. Personally, it seems to me that you have a discipline issue and that your reasons for doing the right things are not compelling enough for you to actually do them. Hoping that things improve won't make things improve.

Becca 🌷

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