It’s Okay Not to Have It All Figured Out Yet
There’s something disappointing about society wanting young people to have it all figured out when they reach a certain age, and for a generation that experienced real hard times that resulted in huge setbacks, with some never getting to ride the latest cars or own a big property, you’d think that they would be more understanding of the younger ones. But no, it’s been a different case out here.
Sometimes I don’t know if this can be described as delusion mixed with pretence, because you hear a lot of them offer motivational speeches without ever letting out the parts where they also failed at the things they wanted to achieve within a certain timeframe.
Even those who truly had a smooth ride in their early years, end up forgetting that the current economic reality is way different now, hindering much more people from having things figured out. They lead their advices with condescension, believing that anyone who doesn't have it all figured out isn't doing enough.
Personally, I think that every young adult needs to get to the point where they don’t really care about what anybody has to say about their journey or what timeline society has given for success. For example, a lot of women think they must get married before 30 because society said so. In the same vein, many men think they must have gotten their first car or home at 30.
It’s worse these days because you see young people in their early 20s feeling dissatisfied with life simply because they’ve not achieved as much as others. To me, these are just unnecessary pressures and to kill them, you need to stop caring about anything but yourself and your visions.
It may truly be difficult to ignore, considering that these high expectations to have it all figured out comes from different facets of society; from parents, to people in our neighbourhood, to those who look up to you in whatever organization you’re in, and down to the kind of flashy social media content that pops up on your feeds that might make you feel like you not doing enough. However, it’s important that you pay no mind to any of such things.
I also like to think that many young people still have an unrealistic expectation of life. They think that life is linear, but that’s untrue. Life is more crooked than not and you can’t always get what you want out of it. Despite your efforts and plans, things may change, challenges may arise, and you'll find yourself in a different situation than you ever imagined. It’s important that you know that life is just this way: uneasy and unpredictable.
It’s not a crime to not know exactly what you want to do with your life yet, or where you want to be at a certain age. The journey to success is different for everybody, and you can start at any time. You can start a different career at 40, find your lover at 40 or hit your first big win at 40. What matters is knowing what you want your life to look like and keeping working towards it.
Ultimately, believe in yourself. Do not give yourself unrealistic timelines. Only put in the effort, and if it doesn’t work out, pick yourself up and try again.
A man who spends his years trying never truly fails.
And remember that even when you win, you will not have every single thing in life figured out. Make peace with that and build a heart that finds satisfaction with the little milestones that you are able to reach in this one life.
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