When Ideology Challenges Relationships

In several of my write-ups, I've consistently written about the importance of friendship and the role that it plays in our lives, and we all can agree without an atom of doubt that anyone who found or has a good friend has struck gold. But then, despite how awesome friendships are, we've through the years seen people who seemed inseparable go their separate ways, and we can't help but wonder what went wrong. Was it the fact that the friendship wasn't genuine from the onset or some individual differences that cut the ties between them? In this article I'll be exploring these subject matters and also state my opinion on if having a different ideology or belief is enough ground to end things with someone you call your friend.

We live in an age and time where connectivity is gold, and everything you need to not only succeed but also make waves and get the best of everything you can possibly think about. In order to make such possible for you as an individual who lives in this age, you ought to try to increase your network, connect with more people, and maintain the relationships you have with each and every one of them. Aside from the fact that it's a noble thing to do, it can also be favorable just in terms of the opportunity and doors such a network can open for us in different works of life. But does that mean we should keep friends with individuals with whom we've got nothing in common?

No, that's not what I meant. After all,we even have a popular saying that goes thus: "Show me your friend, and I'll tell you who you are." So before we start building a network, it's better if we've got one thing or another in common with such people, even if we've got our differences in other aspects of life, such as belief or ideology. Friendship is essential in our world, and we all need friends and relationships with people we can share our plight with and also be there for as well, and so one must work towards maintaining and sustaining friendship. You can't go about making enemies and breaking ties with everyone because they share different views; it's just not ideal.

There are lots of things that can help maintain friendship and relationships, and one of them is the ability to tolerate our differences, be they in our beliefs, such as cultural, lifestyle, religious, or political. When you can tolerate and respect people despite their differences, then you're on your way to having a healthy relationship because you've respected each other, set healthy boundaries, and most importantly, tried not to force your views on the other.

A typical example is my relationship, or should I call it friendship, with some thugs in my neighborhood. On several occasions they usually greet me on my way back home, and I do respond back politely. On two occasions they've hyped me just so I'd give them some money, and when I've a few cash to spare, I do give it to them, so that made me well known amongst them. Fast forward to a particular day: I was walking home when someone ran towards me, grabbed my bag from my hand, and ran away. Before I could even say "Jack," all the thugs sitting beside the road stood up and chased after the thief till they caught up with him and got my bag from him.

I was super pleased about the recovery of my bag even though there wasn't too much expensive inside, and while they were beating the guy, I overheard them saying to the thief, "You want to steal, and you went to steal the master's bag; you've chosen the wrong victim." To cut the long story short, I was shocked they knew I was a teacher; I just used to give them cash because they live in the neighborhood and beg from almost everyone who dresses well. In the end I pleaded with them to let the thief go, and I also gave them some cash for the help they rendered. And I believe you can see how maintaining that relationship I had with those things helped me; that's why we shouldn't end relationships when we have differences.

Overall, in my own opinion, I don't think it's our differences that'll determine if a friendship or relationship will survive; I believe it's more of how capable both individuals are of handling the differences. When it's handled well, there won't be issues. In fact, I think most people who end friendships because of differences lack tolerance or are not open-minded enough, because come to think of it, they have bosses who share different beliefs and ideologies with them, and that didn't make them quit their jobs, because they need the money, so what ground would they say gives them the courage to do so with friends?

All photos are mine.