When Ego Clashes with Peace

Argument is one thing I don't like and a situation I don't like finding myself in, because be it with those I'm close with or total strangers, it's never fun, but then through the years I've been in different arguments, and one thing I've learned from most of those is that not all battles are worth fighting, and that's because ultimately my peace of mind would be at stake, as I usually find myself reminiscing on it over and over again. During an argument, I usually strive to defend myself by proving my point and also be ready to hear the other person out, but in a situation where they are hell-bent on making a scene, I usually just walk away because, in the end, winning an argument doesn't necessarily mean peace has been restored. After all, regardless of the outcome of such arguments, I end up being drained.

When I'm in an argument with loved ones, one thing I usually consider is whether what matters is being right or being kind. During most arguments, one of my saving graces through the years is staying silent in the face of arguments so I won't, out of anger, say something I'll regret saying later. There are even times I've had to apologize just so peace can be restored. Doing that doesn't necessarily mean I'm wrong; it only shows I value the person and the relationship we have matters more than the argument itself.

But that doesn't mean I do that in every instance of arguments. I mean, even here I've talked about scenarios where I was someone's tooth for a tooth during an argument I had with them, and that's to show that walking away or staying silent isn't always the solution to solving issues; sometimes doing that could be misinterpreted as weakness, admission of the accusations, and the like. So when my values are under threat, I'm being lied to again or belittled by someone, and I make sure to stand up for myself, not like I'm doing it in anger, though, but as calmly as possible, because during such moments you can say some words out of anger that you'll regret, and words are like eggs; once broken, they can't be mended back again.

I usually don't treat anyone specially, especially when my values are under threat during an argument. Be it loved ones, strangers, or acquaintances, I speak my mind and defend myself, doing it as nicely as possible not to cross the boundaries of having an argument and making an enemy out of that. I remember one time I was accused of spending money meant for a project by a superior. I made sure to stand up for myself and not bend to the superior's claims or mind games aimed at keeping me shut. At the end of the day, we still talked after the argument because she realized her mistake after my explanation.

Talking about how I usually settle arguments, although most times my first measure to prevent arguments from escalating is staying silent and walking away if words being said seem too provoking for me to handle, during such moments of being away, I usually just find a calm spot to sit and think things over, weighing the cost of the fight, analyzing everything to know if I've overreacted in one way or another, or maybe, even though I'm not wrong, the other person might not be as well.

So I usually just walk back when tensions are done and try to restart the conversation with calm and respect as I try to hear the other person out, pleading for the misunderstanding to be resolved as we've had many fond memories to let such become what breaks us apart or causes a rift between us, and on other occasions when I know I've tried my best and the person isn't yielding, I usually just leave them to their tantrums for the sake of peace, even if it means the end of the friendship.

All photos are taken and edited on canva.