The Risk of Asking, The Cost of Staying Silent

Asking for help is good, and it's advisable that we all do that. No man is an island, and the main reason why we have many people around us, such as friends, family, and the like, is so we can seek each other's assistance, which isn't always about money; sometimes the help could be related to human strength, like helping you lift a heavy object or learning about someone new after seeking help from an expert in that field. A popular Yoruba proverb says, "Agbájọwó la fi ń sọyà, ọwọ́ kan kò gbé ẹrù dé orí," meaning you'll need to clench your fist to beat your chest; a single finger can't do that. It also goes on to say that it's a combination of hands that can help one carry a load on one's head. This is to show the enormous impact those around us can play in our lives if only we call into them for help.

Even though I understand the importance of asking for help and how it can aid our life's journey, still, I'm not the type of person who finds it easy to ask others for help. It's not like I'm proud of it sometimes; it's just that I'm always skeptical about seeking help, especially from the wrong person, because I don't want a situation where I'd seek help from someone and it'll be used to mock me in the near future or it'll become the talk of the community. I live a private lifestyle, and if I share my vulnerability with you, I don't expect it to be shared with everyone else.

That's the exact reason why I'm not swift to asking for help from people, especially if I know it's such a person's nature to be outspoken and that my private life or information might become the talk of the town. That doesn't mean I don't seek help; I mostly just go to those I can trust with my information and whom I'm certain won't misuse it. Recently I was dealing with a financial difficulty, and despite the fact that I was being disturbed by those I needed to pay the money to, I didn't speak up or seek help until it was near the deadline of that particular thing, although I didn't end up getting any help, but then luckily I was able to sort it out myself in time.

A lot of people abuse help, and that's why some people are now reserved when it comes to how they help or who they help, because you'll end up being taken for granted or turning into a pocket where they can always come to seek anything without thinking of your own needs. I remember how my junior brother asked me for financial help months ago, and after I met his need, he came back the next day stating that he needed a new shoe, which I purchased for him as well. Just two days after that, he came back again, and I just ignored him because it's obvious he's taken it as an avenue to exploit me. It was later that he called, and I let him know what he did wrong and helped him understand life better.

Talking about the downside of not asking for help or asking for it late is that it'll most likely make one lose an opportunity, lead to more devastating outcomes, and even reduce our chances of getting the help we need. I guess with this knowledge and understanding of the danger of my attitude towards seeking help, maybe I'll just have to adjust.

*All photos are mine.