Retirement Homes vs. Family Care: What’s Ideal for Our Elderly Parents?

When we're young, our parents strive to give us the best of everything at the detriment of their own comfort, from shelter to our first bike, education, valuable advice, and several other things that made up who we grow up to become and as well shape our lives in the right direction; however, despite most of what we get from these awesome individuals that play a huge role in our lives journey, when they get old, you'll see many children take their elderly parents to retirement homes with the excuse that they'll be more catered to and that they themselves, their children, are too busy to do that due to the nature of their job. Does that sound like something that's ideal to do, or should elderly parents be left to stay with their family?

The role of parents in the lives of their kids can never be overstated; in fact, on several occasions when I reminisce on some of the sacrifices my parents made just so we, the children, are fed, in good shape, and educated, I can't help but be drawn to tears because it's just mind-blowing; the sacrifices are out of this world, and with all of that love being showered on me by my parents, I don't think it'll be ideal for me, no matter the excuse to move my parents to a retirement home to be looked after by some total strangers, because I feel they can do a better job in taking care of my parents than I, their son.

These parents, when we're young and have little or no knowledge, will cater to us; in fact, we popped around the house, and that doesn't make them throw us aside; instead, they pick us up and tidy the mess we've made, but we, the children of modern days, can't reciprocate the same energy to fending for these vulnerable parents who do so much for us now that they themselves are vulnerable and we have the capacity to help.

It's not like I'm praying that my parents will be so vulnerable to the point where they'll shit themselves when they become so old, but then regardless of if that happens or not, I don't think anyone can take care of a member of our family perfectly like we ourselves would. I've watched loads of videos of caregivers who beat and torture old people all in the name of taking care of them. I don't want my parents to be in such a situation, not while I'm alive.

Regardless of if I'm wealthy or not and have the finances to care for them or not, their place is why we, their family, are not locked up in a retirement home like a total stranger with no family or loved ones. Well, I understand this is a common practice in some parts of the world; the same isn't the case here in Nigeria. Most elderly parents remain with their family, and if they can't be around all the time to care for them, you'll see the family employ a house girl or personal assistant to do that within the family house.

So for me personally, the place of my parents, like I said, is beside me, their family, and that's where they'll be until they draw their last breath, not in a retirement home where I don't know the situation of things and how they're treated. I'd rather do it myself or find a maid to help me out within the four walls of the family house. The place of our parents is beside us in their vulnerable state, not in some retirement home.

Families are meant to be together, to help each other, and to be there for ourselves in our vulnerability, not to be thrown out to be and left the task for someone else to do, and it'll go on to increase family bonding, emotional support they needed, and as well sustain our cultural heritage of shared responsibility and love between family members.

All photos are mine.