FOR A REASON – IS A LIE EVER JUSTIFIED?

While growing up, one of those things we were reminded of is that lying is bad; it's a moral lesson that's constantly being said to us alongside the need to respect our elders and not to steal. Unfortunately, as we grow, it's as though life gets more complicated because we come to realize that not everything is black and white like we were made to believe, and this raises the ethical question of if there's a time when telling a lie can be acceptable. This is quite complicated because, aside from morals, most religions also frown upon it, but then below is what I think about this subject matter.

Lies are bad, and they can go on to break trust between friends when the truth is known. They also go on to hurt the victim's feelings and take a toll on their emotions, and that's why it's not always good to tell lies. It's like I'm a saint. There have been occasions when I told a lie. I didn't do that out of my selfish gain or malice, but because I wanted to protect the feelings of the person the lie was being told to, with the aim of avoiding unnecessary drama and upholding peace.

I remember there was a time I paid a courtesy visit to a friend, and while I was there, she entertained me with a meal. A few minutes into the meal, I looked up at her and told her a blatant lie that the dish tasted nice, when in reality, I could barely eat it because all its flavors were in excess. The reason I told the lie wasn't because I didn't want her to improve in her cooking. I told the lie because I saw the effort she put into the cooking and how happy and eager she was to see and hear my reaction. With such eagerness in her face, I couldn't summon the courage to tell her the truth. While I understand that the lie isn't necessary, I know for a fact that at that moment it's kinder to lie to her than to crush her with the truth.

We've even coined a name for some of these lies, which is white lie, and many of us have on multiple occasions resorted to white lies, which we see as harmless, just so we can avoid hurting other people or causing conflict/chaos, like one time I lied to my mom a few years ago when she was sick and we got a call that her dad was dead. It was disheartening news, and seeing her in the state she's in at the moment due to her health, I concluded within myself that telling her the truth would further break her, knowing how close she was to her dad and loved him.

So we lied to her that all was well and that her dad had called to wish her good health. At the end of the day, when her health had improved, we broke the news to her. Although she was still sad about the news, she later understood the reason why we chose to lie to her in the first place.

While we tell these lies, it can be dangerous when we start justifying them, because it can lead to jumping from one harmless lie to another, and before we know it, we're already tangled in the web of lies. Like I said above, lies, regardless of the reason behind them, can lead to mistrust, making people feel betrayed when the truth surfaces.

Overall, I'll still agree with the fact that some lies are acceptable, but only on rare occasions, which are done for the right reason, such as being done to protect and not deceive, to heal and not to harm, and regardless of what happens, we must be ready to take full responsibility if such lies backfire.

What matters is that when we are telling a lie, it should come from a place of love and not convenience, as we all know while the truth can be bitter and hurt, it's always just for a moment, but for lies, when they're uncovered, they can leave behind a lifetime scar that may never heal.

All photos are mine.