Learning to Breathe in a Life I Can’t Control.

I have grown to understand that life is very unpredictable, but this knowledge doesn't stop me from chasing my personal goals, dreaming big, and working hard to fulfill my dreams.
I'm still conscious of my dreams in life, the desire to want my life to go the way I want it to go, and the desire to have everything I have ever wanted to be figured out at ease.
The knowledge of how unpredictable life can only teach me to chase my goals without feeling pressured, because we can't control or detect what life will be at the end. Life has its own way of surprising us.

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The twist life takes can be very surprising and shocking, and I learned this from my personal experience and the experience of others. Life can't be controlled, it isn't always without thorns. It's what Shakespeare described as;

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his time upon the stage.
And then is heard no more.

We really can't control this life, not even the wealthiest of all can. It hits at some point and reminds us of how fickle and unpredictable the world we are living in can be in a few seconds.

Definitely, I have personal pressures I have placed on myself, the weight that I have to carry. I'm very determined to actualize them at all cost, but I have chosen not to feel pressured to chase them.
Living and enjoying every moment, celebrating and keeping memories of life going as planned, also staying optimistic when it doesn't seem fair to me either.
I chase my dreams at my own pace without any form of pressure, pursue my dreams to the best I can, stay positive and reduce any form of expectation, especially from others.
No pressure, because I can't feel pressured over a life I can't control and a life that can redirect me. Instead, I chase my goals at my own pace, within my reach and power.

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There was a time when I pressured myself so much that I had to set deadlines on when to fulfill certain goals, and each time it was my birthday, instead of celebrating, I cried deeply, like I lost someone. When my birthday is approaching, I see myself trying to control fate and life. That is what pressure did to me, and then I decided to stop creating deadlines, because I can't control life, it's beyond my control.
Life is unpredictable and can't be controlled.
When things don't go as planned as human beings, it's national to feel bad and after that moment of mourning, I keep chasing my goal, being optimistic and hopeful for the best, no pressure, no deadline, just optimism and hope for better days.
Being hard on myself has never solved issues or changed the plan life has, so I no longer cry out when I feel frustrated or punish myself, but stay hopeful, optimistic, keep working hard and believing in myself and dreams.

In the past, I was really hard on myself. My first year after graduation from school, a young girl trying to navigate life and dealing with ups and downs, uncertainties and personal pressure, I was really hard on myself, was gradually becoming a sadistic person, until I understood life doesn't always go as planned and I just had to be patient, keep trying my best and not give up.
Currently, I'm living my life with zero pressure, chasing my goal at my pace with so much positivity, limiting expectations, and being grateful for every moment in life, appreciating everyone and everything around me.

Thanks for reading ♥️

Vanilla 💗