Forgiving for Myself : Choosing Peace, Even When It's Difficult.

Most people believe that human beings are imperfect and mistakes are inevitable. They will always support it with the quote "To err is human but the forgive is divine" .

While others believe that forgiveness is an impossible mission, they don't believe in forgiving anyone that hurts them, because people actually know what they are doing and that's true.

Regardless of where I stand , the fact still remains that forgiveness isn't very easy to practice, it's an easy concept to preach to other people, but no one talks about the difficulty of looking at a person who was deliberately evil to you and says, I forgive you.
Forgiveness is a difficult choice, especially when the effects of a person's action is severe.

I can vividly remember some years ago, a friend of mine lost her dad due to a driver's recklessness and it really affected her because she persuaded her dad to leave the house that particular day. She wanted
her dad to drive her out to the store to get beverages and toiletries, because she was resuming school the next day. Just as they approached the busy road a reckless driver crashed their car. She was injured and her dad couldn't survive it.

She couldn't forgive herself and the driver. She went as far as visiting the driver to torture him at the police station. According to her, she kept hitting this man until he bled. Even when the pregnant wife of the man came in to beg at their house, she slapped the woman, abused her and pushed her out. She was going through the pain, physically, mentally and emotionally.

She wanted the driver to die and not just sentenced to jail . I have never seen a quest for vengeance like that in real life. I tried as much as I could to console her and all I saw those period was someone who wanted revenge. She would take his life if only she could.Healing was difficult for her. At that point no one could even preach forgiveness to this girl, even me.

Fast forward to our final year in school, she made a very bold step. She forgave him. After that four years, she went to the prison and paid him a visit , was able to tell him that she had forgiven him, and during one of our conversations I told her how proud I was about that action she took.

It is very easy to preach forgiveness and encourage others to practice it, but to practice forgiveness is really difficult, most times it takes time to forgive a person.

I have been hurt, by friends and even family. Trust has been broken and i have had resentment towards people who hurt me and I have also forgiven because of myself, not because of my offender.

Forgiveness is indeed a difficult choice to make, but I have realized that it's a choice that will heal a person . Forgiveness heals. While we all think forgiveness is the right thing to do always, forgiveness doesn't excuse the bad behavior of a person . Forgiveness wouldn't make me forget what a person did to me or even permit a person to keep hurting me. To me, forgiveness is choosing my happiness and peace and not bitterness, forgiveness is prioritizing peace and moving on without further pain and hurts. I'm not letting bitterness take the best part of my life, I will forgive and always encourage others to forgive too.

Also, a person can forgive and still choose to maintain their personal boundaries, seek justice, and even end a relationship altogether , doing this for themselves and their peace.

Forgiveness doesn't mean they should give those hurting them constant access to continue or eliminate the need for accountability. It doesn't mean pretending that you were never offended.

When it comes with coping with pain and unforgiveness, there are many ways to find and seek comfort. What I do most is talk to a trusted friend, always my sister, though, try as much as I can to focus on my personal growth, pray if it feels so heavy and prevent that event from controlling my life and affairs.

I forgive those who hurt me for myself, because I don't want to live the rest of my life in bitterness and prevent emotional prison and bitterness.

Is everyone worthy of forgiveness? There may never be an answer to this question from me. I think the choice to forgive a person is not isn't about whether the person is worthy of it or not. To me, it is about choosing myself, my peace, healing for the pain, and the freedom to move forward despite the pain of the past.