The Cost Of Searching For Comfort.

Now looking back at the last one year, so if I’m being honest with myself, the most expensive thing I actually spent my money on wasn’t clothes, gadgets, or even food at all, It was in travelling, and not travelling for enjoyment or vacation o, but travelling because I was searching for comfort, peace of mind, and a sense of relief from everything going on in my life.

At the beginning of it all, I made a big decision to move from Lagos to Uyo, at that point, Lagos felt too heavy for me, everything felt fast, stressful, and overwhelming, I thought a change of environment would automatically change how I felt inside, so I packed my things, spent money on transportation, settling down, and trying to start afresh, I stayed in Uyo for about three months, hoping things would click into place.

But life has a funny way of humbling you, things didn’t exactly turn out how I imagined, some plans didn’t work out, some expectations were not met, and I realised that running from one place to another doesn’t magically solve internal struggles, eventually, I had to return back, And that return itself cost money again transport, logistics, and even losses I didn’t plan for.

After coming back, I still wasn’t settled emotionally, u felt restless, that was when I decided to travel again, this time to Akure, Unlike the Uyo move, this one wasn’t about chasing opportunities or starting over in a new city, I travelled to Akure to stay with a friend for about a month, I needed a familiar face, someone I could talk to freely, someone whose presence alone felt comforting, It wasn’t a holiday, ut wasn’t luxury, It was me trying to breathe again.

If I calculate everything , transport fares, feeding, small expenses here and there travelling took a serious chunk of my money within that one year, at some point, I even asked myself if it was worth it, Should I have just stayed in one place and endured everything quietly?

But the truth is, even though it was expensive, I don’t completely regret it, those movements taught me things I wouldn’t have learned if I stayed stuck in one place, I learned that peace of mind is deeper than location, I learned that sometimes you can move cities and still carry the same worries with you, and I also learned that comfort doesn’t always come from places, but from people and moments.

Was it worth the money? financially, hmmm, maybe not the smartest decision, but emotionally, I really needed it at that time, I needed to feel like I was trying, even if things did not work out perfectly, see I needed those experiences to understand myself better and know what truly matters to me.

So If I had the chance to do it again, would I spend that much money on travelling again? Hmm... honestly, not in the same way sha, I have learned that I need to plan better and not move purely based on emotions, but if it is about my mental health and well being, I won’t completely rule it out either.

At the end of the day, that money went into experiences, lessons, and self discovery, expensive, yes, but it shaped me in ways I am still unpacking, and sometimes, that is the real cost of growth.

_{This is my entry to the Hive learners prompt week 199 edition 1}

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_{Image Is Mine}