Growing up, we faced strict discipline from our parents. One thing they detest from us is lying. If we did something bad, they expected us to tell the truth and admit we did it, even if they would still punish us. But we feel we could escape if we lied, but no, they have their ways of knowing whether we were lying or not and that act of not speaking the truth was what usually provoked them to beat the hell out of us.
For my mom, once we did something bad, we made no mistake moving close to her because she would use any object around her and if you were smart enough, you could dodge a big pot or a wooden turner stick coming straight to your forehead. Thank God those items were cheap then, she doesn't mind getting new ones.
With the way we were strictly disciplined, my dad adopted one effective measure, one that helped shape us till today and during that time, we cooperated too, ensuring we were always putting on good behaviours.
My dad, after flogging us, most times without mercy, would then call us and ask why we thought he beat us that way. We already knew what we did so we would speak up with the reasons we got beaten or punished. Then he would ask if it was good as he flogged us, and we would negatively nod our heads.
Dad would then advise us not to do such a thing again. Even though we were always punished for other wrong things, we still were careful and conscious of listening to them and making sure we didn't keep getting flogged all the time.
These days, most parents feel once they keep beating a child, it will help change him or her. But sometimes, all they need is corporal punishment and some soft talks which would help reset their brain. Corporal punishment is a great way to handle a child who feels he or she can do whatever he likes and goes out of the way to become a rebellious child.
Beating alone cannot help a child. Sometimes, all they need is some soothing words to pierce into their hearts while also praying to God for them to change.
I am not a parent yet but with my experience as a child and one who has grown to see how children are being handled around me, I wouldn't totally ignore physical punishment but would balance it with other measures in correcting my kids. They need to be handled carefully and if a child is only introduced to physical punishment consistently, they would be used to it. I would always bring up different measures they won't even expect and I believe they will learn the hard way.
I will also adopt an effective method my late grandmother used on her children. My dad and aunts would always tell us how such method made them change forcefully. When they do something bad, they won't eat for a certain time. If grandma says they aren't eating all through the day, she meant it. One of my aunts told me how she went for 2 days without eating anything and Grandma stood by her words even when Grandpa kept persuading and begging her to reconsider.
She will make sure they do not eat any food till when she has felt calm. This was something my aunt used on me when I was living with her too even though my dad was against such an idea because he felt punishing a child to the extreme equals not giving them food which could be the worst punishment.
I love that method and I wouldn't mind doing that for my kids who did something bad just to correct them but not to the extreme though, also not neglecting the part of embracing them with love by talking and encouraging them. They need love too but parents shouldn't spare the rod when necessary.
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Talking to kids to instill discipline can achieve a lot of results. The way we handle our kids when they are about a year old or two matters too. They grow up in that manner.
Yes, for each stage of a child, the way to discipline should be different.
But then again they will still beat the hell outa us lolzz. And the stuborn kids will still love about everything
Hahaha π we received serious beating then π€£
I swear everything beatable including turning garri
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Thank you.
Your parents did a great job in correcting and talking to you after being flogged. Every parent with their own parenting skills and just do whatever works for you.
Exactly. Whatever works, go for it. Only that parents shouldn't go beyond what a child could endure.
Your parents did a great job in correcting and talking to you after being flogged. Every parent with their own parenting skills and just do whatever works for you.
Same plans I have, I will not be hard on my kids because my parents were hard on me it affected our relationship with them.
Yea. That's true. Those times are different from now. We just need to find the best method to discipline a child and not go hard on them.
This gen z generation don't understand hard punishment at all. Before you raise the cane, they have already started crying πππ
Balance is required
Hahaha π they don't know how we received some punishment then. Imagine staring at your mom and boom, you hear this sound on your cheeks or forehead π π
ππππ yes o
Talking nicely to your son or daughter can teach them to learn from their mistakes. If they still make those mistakes repeatedly, then thatβs the only time when you can punish them.
Now that Iβm already a young adult, I wonder why my parents sometimes beat me when I made a mistake. Itβs so unnecessary if we can use our past mistakes to reflect and not to do some punishment.
For example, if you made a mistake in breaking a glass, I donβt know why some parents used to hit you up. Is it the consequence of breaking it? Is the outcome of it is that you canβt use it anymore? Why wonβt parents try to break their sonβs favorite toy and allow them to reflect on that mistake?
I only realized this when I watched a video where her daughter was bullying someone with the ailment. She shaved her head to teach her a lesson, and I salute her mom for that.
It's the same as what our teachers and favorite fiction tease us. When the three pigs make different houses to protect themselves from the wolf, it doesnβt need physical punishment to tell them that great things take time.
Yea. You are right. I think going soft on them at the beginning and if they don't listen, you introduce the hard discipline to them.
Wow, trust me, I love this method too. It's not only about physical punishment but something they will always remember whenever they want to try anything funny next time. In my tribe, they give you a lasting mark you will never forget. Just by looking at the mark on your body would remind you not to do anything bad because there will be consequences.
Thanks for your beautiful comment. I appreciate it.
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Ahhh! I really collect when I was small because I will just lie about everything as long as my mother will not flog me. Still she will discover that I wasn't saying the truth
Thanks for sharing
Our parents have ways of doing their detective work on us. Lol
It's my pleasure. Thank you for stopping by too.
I think beating hard is not the right way to correct a child. I have seen some parents who beat their children like animals and I feel very bad because I had no right to stop them. I think light punishment with friendly conversations is good for correcting the mistakes or making him understand about the action he has done.
Yes. Some parents are so heartless you know, the way they beat their kids is always surprising and sad too. Children need light discipline most especially the talking part because it helps.
I have seen some parents beating their parents so badly that I never imagine parents can do that. In fact, I never imagine to beat any animal like that let alone human.
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πππ I remembered every details of my childhood. My mum will say "I will continue to beat you until you stop being stubborn". It never helped because whenever you ask me what my offense was I will always look confused, cause I got beaten at every slightest mistakes that I don't even know how to correct myself. I couldn't detect right from wrong cause I was too scared of being beaten so she thought I was stubborn.
Well I thank God she later understands better that beating a child is not just the right way of discipline well maybe a little but how about you seat them down and talk to them. Enlighten them, they might not change immediately but trust me gradually they will. I mean no child loves to be beaten. My dad will mock me of how I do jump from one angle to the other πππ running from beating then. Infact we joke about the topic nowadaysππ.
Hahaha. Beating a child to make them not to be stubborn could only worsen the situation because it isn't only about beating. Children need different methods of discipline and parents should discover that. A child changing to become a better person is a gradual thing and so, patience is needed too.
Hahaha. Those are now memories and we are glad to be able to talk about them now. Thanks for sharing your experience too.
πππππ you're welcome dear