FAVOUR-PHOBIC
To be honest, this particular prompt brought up memories I would rather forget. I would rather forget them because at one point I wrote about some of the experiences with joy on my blog and now I write about those same experiences with sorrow in my heart. Although it's not my first time experiencing heartbreak and I certainly doubt it would be my last because when there is love, a heart break seems to loom around the corner. As long as you love a person, you give them the opportunity to hurt you and they will definitely do it knowingly or unknowingly. However the case may be it's all because to err is human. I have hurt those I love and they have hurt me too. But there are some hurts that become traumatic and leave a stigma at the end of the day.
The stigma for me is the name favour. I have known four favours in my life, loved four in my life so dearly, two romantically and two like they were family but one thing they all have in common is how they tend to hurt me so deeply in ways I couldn't even imagine. The first one I loved was like a family, but at the end of the day she fell in love with a guy who was using her and then turned against me when I tried to tell her the truth. I remember how she humiliated me and caused me my relationship seeing that it was her only direct way of hurting me. I never imagined she would even hurt me because of a piece of advice. If one should see her actions it would be easy to think I was awful towards her and she was retaliating but in the real sense, I never did anything of that nature and still wonder if she heard lies about me that instigated such anger.
The second favour was going to be my girlfriend at one point, or at least I thought she was till I found out that I was just one of many and did not really mean anything to her. After discovering her true nature, I never confronted her about it, I didn't even say anything about it or give her a room to explain herself but simply moved on and we never spoke again. The third favor was like family, I used to call her my favorite but she had anger issues and was spreading lies about me that I could never understand where they came from or why she even did what she did. Again I never confronted her about her actions but simply moved on after seeing the kind of person she was and how she derived pleasure in ridiculing people's names for her own amusement. When I talk about these people one may think they are bad people but the truth is they are really nice people, people who helped me at one point in time and who were there by my side as pillars.
Although these three share a common trait of anger issues, apart from that every other thing speaking right now is how I felt about their actions towards me. This brings me to the last favour who seemed to be different, she didn't have anger issues like the rest and was wonderful in every way. But the hurt I got from her more than the rest after finding out that she was using and leading me on knowing fully how I felt about her. At the end of the day, I confronted her because I was finding it difficult to forgive her. I wasted 9 months of my life pursuing something I could never get because her eyes were fixed on a friend of hers who became a celebrity.
Recently at the office, my company employed a new staff member who happened to have the same name and that was when I realized that I had resentment towards her simply because of her name.
I heard her sing and immediately remembered all the favours I encountered had beautiful voices as well and resented her the more. But later I had to call myself to order because I knew deep down that she never did anything to deserve such feelings, it was a stigma from my past and as of today I try everyday to fight that resentment but at the same time trying not to get too close to her even though I see her trying so hard to come close to me. I still don't want to be close to her even as a friend, we are okay as acquaintances and I will help anyway I can. The highest I can do to deal with this stigma is to never hate her for the actions of others. But those actions have made me have bad feelings towards the name FAVOUR.
THIS IS MY RESPONSE TO HIVE LEARNER'S PROMPT FOR WEEK 159 EPISODE 3
Posted Using INLEO
I feel sad to know about it as really people hurt us and it leave impressions on our personality and we can't forget it but you don't worry time will heal this too
This is quite sad looking at the fact that you got heartbroken by girls named favour making you feel resentment for other girls bearing the same name
I feel stigma cannot be avoided as you said but you can only try to control it as much as you can and I hope other favours that you will meet should be different