Preserving Calm: Valuing Mental Health Over Unnecessary Chaos

We all pass through different stages in life. Some of them are so fulfilling that we wish we could relive them over and over, while others are moments we would rather erase or never face again. Every person thinks and reacts in their own way. Some people are quick to judge and act, while others take longer to process before responding. Still, there are situations where a fast reaction is necessary—failing to do so can sometimes be risky.

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There are times when we make choices that we later regret. Yet, looking back, we sometimes realize that our actions may have been right in that particular moment. Everything depends on context. At times, we truly have no alternative, while on other occasions we rush into decisions without fully considering the circumstances. Some individuals weigh their options carefully before deciding, while others act hastily. Sometimes those quick decisions work out, and sometimes they don’t. Speaking for myself, I’ve cut off contact with people without much warning—what many would call “ghosting.” But in reality, every action has its reasons. One doesn’t simply stop talking to someone overnight; usually there’s a deeper cause or an important reason behind it.

During my college years, I made many friends. For the first couple of years I barely attended, but later on I became much more consistent, and by the last two years I was present almost every day. That gave me the chance to get to know nearly everyone in my class. In some ways, that worked to my benefit. People often asked me for my notes since I was a regular attendee, and I always rewrote them neatly at home. Sharing them helped me connect with many classmates, and by the time I graduated, I had a large circle of acquaintances—some of whom I’m still in touch with. However, I’ve never been the most sociable person. I wouldn’t describe myself as highly extroverted or the type to spend long hours socializing. I’m somewhat reserved, maybe even introverted, which explains why, even though I know many people, I only consider a handful of them to be close friends.

After college, everyone moved in different directions. Some pursued training programs, others began working right away because of their strong academic performance. I too searched for work for a while, then enrolled in postgraduate studies, and eventually managed to secure a job in my hometown—which was fortunate for me. When others found out, they started pressuring me to help them get hired too. I explained clearly that the salary at my workplace was not very high and shared all the conditions upfront, but they still insisted that I talk to my boss to negotiate better pay since they also had master’s degrees. I entertained their requests for a while, but after constant repetition, I began ignoring them.

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Sometimes you try to explain your side, but if the other person refuses to understand, frustration builds up. To avoid unnecessary conflict, you may feel the best solution is simply to end communication. That’s what I did—I stopped answering altogether. After that, the messages eventually stopped coming. Later on, I realized I might have spoken harshly at some point, so I tried reconnecting. But each time the conversations returned to the same annoying topics, and I found myself distancing again.

The truth is, some people drain your energy with their words or behavior, and being around them can affect your mental health. That’s why I personally believe that if you already know what situations or people disturb your peace of mind, it’s better to distance yourself. Life becomes much simpler when you avoid what brings you unnecessary stress.