BOUND BY CONTRACT, BONDED BY BIOLOGY
When it comes to dealing with people, the only thing that makes that relationship work better between them most times is having an agreement. It is even written that two people can’t work together unless they agree. Surrogacy is becoming an actual thing as the day goes by. There are so many reasons why people opt for this option of child bearing but often times it takes a lot from everyone involved in it, even the doctor who works on the whole process.
Surrogacy is one form of relationship between people that only works well when every party involved has an agreement. Why? Because it is something that can be very emotional especially for the prospective mother. For the parents who wants their child to be carried by another, all they see in it is just paying and taking care of someone to bring their child to the world but for the prospective mother, there are high chances of her forming attachment with the child in her womb. I mean, who wouldn’t. We are talking about nine good months here. It is really hard not to but I won’t deny the fact that it isn’t possible.
For this last edition of the Hivelearners topic, we are asked to share our thoughts on SURROGACY RIGHTS. Let me share a basic medical side to a woman carrying a child in her womb (surrogacy). Women naturally have a surge in an hormone called oxytocin at the point of contraction during parturition and this hormone is often called a bonding hormone. I’m very sure by now you can start imagining so many things that this hormone can do to that mother (prospective or not). Well, maybe there could be a way to remove the amount of oxytocin from that mother immediately after birth but I’m very sure that will cause a whole lot of hormonal imbalances in her.
What I’m saying is, naturally, it is normal for the mother of child, particularly, the one who brings a child to this world to have a certain bond with that child but of course, it can die down over time. So, as long as the prospective mother had a good relationship with the family, I think it is totally fine to consider her coming around to see the child until she can easily get over it. Of course, she knows the agreement and all but I believe the actual parents owes her that part but only if she truly kept to her own side of the bargain. And she is not being rude and all entitled.
The truth is, surrogacy doesn’t just work with any woman. It is also not easy to find a compatible mother and seeing one means a lot for the family. The only sad part is that, the prospective mothers can have an ulterior motive later on and become more selfish but as long as she doesn’t do anything to hurt the child or run away with the child, I think the parents can also allow her access to the baby for some time under good watch of course.
But then, the best thing is for all of this to be part of the agreement, whether or not they want her to see and be with the child after she has given birth to the baby and that way, they can easily know who is not keeping their own side of the bargain and it will be easier to handle it. But if there wasn’t any prior agreements, it is just going to be a tug of war because almost both sides will be right depending on how it is presented. So, to avoid unnecessary conflict, it is best to have a detailed agreement after a discussion in the present of at least one or two witnesses.
Thank you for reading through. 💜
Hmmm! My opinion says she should not come around because one day she will want the child for herself.
I really think that this business should be done among people who live in different countries where it might be impossible to see again.
Thanks for sharing
Well, like I said, it should all be in the agreement to make it easier.
Thank you for stopping by, mama.
Hmm, I will say you're right. My opinion was that the surrogate mother doesn't have any right on the child in as much she has being paid for her work. But with this, I have another perspective. You're right, mother's always have this strong bond with their baby when they're pregnant and it will be hard for the surrogate mother to give birth to the baby and have no right on the baby again. Yes, I know there's already an agreement between the surrogate mother and the couple she's helping to carry the baby, but it will be hard because she already attached and create a bond with the baby.
Yeah. The best way is for them to agree at the very moment they have the intention of making her carry their child how things are going to be once she gives birth to the child. That way, they will be able to easily know when they are breaking the agreement.
Thank you for your input. 🥰
Hmmmm... I got some biology lessons here. What you said about the bonding hormones from the mother is a serious concern when considering surrogacy. The aspect of letting her see the child can be considered. And for something like this (surrogacy) , a very serious legal agreement has to be be in place from the beginning else issues hard to resolve could arise.
Well said, Daverick.
The agreement is just everything that can make such a matter easier to deal with.