Sometimes humans judge others based on personal metrics, whether necessary or not. People are fond of thinking that because they achieved a milestone or a feat, that others should too. Sometimes even forgetting how difficult it was for them to overcome such milestones.
A good example is when one struggles to make money and is rewarded,and immediately begins to see others who are working hard but yet to make it as "lazy". OR, people who give birth and conclude that those still childless are in the wrong. Another common scenario is when one's efforts pay off in an exam and he begins to think that those who did not scale through were unserious.
Life is not a level playing ground, we just have to make do with what it throws at us. People need to bear this in mind especially when they want to judge or castigate another individual.
One scenario that comes to mind when discussing stigma is the case of a neighbour who gave birth to three children through cesarean section (CS). So this lady had all three of her babies through three different pregnancies and three different surgeries.
Some other people especially fellow women surprisingly made it look like she was less of a woman for that.
You know the society we live in still has a long way to go when it comes to health especially understanding the role of surgery in many health conditions.
Also most women are obsessed with the "Hebrew women" idea of labour and delivery. Some even swear that they must deliver through vaginal delivery regardless of the events surrounding their labour.
As one in the health sector, I know how unpredictable pregnancy can be and how quickly things can change during labour.
Some conditions even make it clear quite early that this would need a CS when the time comes and the woman is informed early. But some of them would disregard the medical advice and make it look as if the doctor is wishing them evil. While in the real sense, the doc is only trying to minimise complications for both mother and child.
Back to the story of my neighbour, I would oftentimes overheard someone tell her that since she has not experienced labour, that she cannot really call herself a woman and that she has never really given birth.
Sadly, this was many years ago when I was growing up and with little knowledge to confront an elderly person.
Some people even had the guts to talk down on the children because of the circumstances surrounding their birth. Children who were perfectly normal and if not that those people knew about the CS, they would never have suspected anything.
One thing I remember is that the woman was quite strong and never really paid attention to any of those who tried to bring her down.
She looked very pretty and it seemed as if the others were jealous of her.
While it's ok to give birth via spontaneous vaginal delivery, it's equally okay if there is need to deliver through an operation and running from it may lead to regrettable outcomes, not just for the mother but also for the child.
All images are mine