Parenting is for Life

Every human being needs some privacy from time to time including children. The level of privacy may differ from person to person and for various age groups and various reasons but the bare minimum should be accorded the kids too.

As a child grows up, naturally, privacy would be given gradually gradually especially from the age of 10 or thereabouts. Despite this, the parents should not take their eyes off him or her rather they should allow the child some alone time to be by himself. But while this is going on, I suggest they should make sure to find out how the child uses this time and what he uses it for. This is because that is what will determine if the child is to be given more time or be given more parental advice, coaching and more observations.

The reasons for the initial privacy is simple. One cannot spend all his time with a child so the earlier independence is established the better but it should only be established when the child has shown a good mental capacity to use the privacy appropriately. When the child has demonstrated this, then more can be given.

The open door policy is one I believe should be in place till around 13 years of age, at this age the child is now a teenager and most likely reached the critical stage of puberty where the body changes, needs and wants change too. It is also a period of mindset change and a need for privacy and independence.
Hence why I feel that this period is good for the transition.

For the fact that the open-door policy is discontinued does not mean that the parents should now take their eyes off the child. No. It just means that more freedom or privacy is due but the parents should still keep watch and observe the pubertal changes as the child navigates this new aspect of his life.
The presence of a parent in this phase is very important and will go a long way in determining how the child will turn out as an adult.

I believe that the privacy should be given little by little until about 18 years at which time the child is no more a child but becomes an adult. At this age, most people are capable of taking a good number of decisions by themselves. Still, this does not mean the parents should totally take their hands off the child's affairs. Rather, it should be done with utmost care and respect for the individuality of the child to avoid being seen as intrusive, overbearing or domineering.

The parents must always remember that even though he is their child, he is no more a child. This is one area most parents make mistakes and keep treating an adult like a child. This sets off a negative cascade of events that usually leads to miscommunications and misunderstandings.

Parenting is a lifelong process, so even if a man is 70 years old, his father who may be 90 will continue to be his father and would continue to offer advice or help as much as his intelligence of fitness allows him.