Why "He's Changed" Is the Wrong Question

Some questions don't need to be asked if I am being honest because this series of questions that most people usually ask about sex offenders that are released and their own children is if genuinely that person has changed. I just personal feels they are asking the wrong question and still dwelling on that question is one of the reasons why we will continue to have a conversation or topic like this

"Has he changed" is something that most of us can not even verify from where we are sitting. A guy's, the lady, even the perpetuator of the sex crime cannot verify because to assess recidivism, non of them have that training.

Feeling remorse of an action is something that is real and that does not mean the have totally controll of an action that is yet to take place because that trigger or pattern that brings about that specific sex crime if often a very complsive one and I don't think it can be resolved through time served or stated regret. I also think this question need a clinical assessment than the feeling based answers that people always asked. To me, it's just like the first prompt asking if prison do change someone, and I said prison today is now a punishment place not a correctional center again.

So, I feel the better question should be like this, who decides and on what basis is that decision going to be made. And not do I believe that they have changed. It's just like rehabilitating a Boko Haram and telling him to join the force. Even though he is sorry, has he been properly examined by qualified and expert evaluator and has he been placed under a well thorough supervised structure.
And I believe that is a complete honest different conversation and it is part of what most people are not comfortable to have if I am being honest here. We always find it easy to forgive as feeling instead of forgiveness as a managed process with safeguard attached.

Here in my country, most people will always say "let's give them a chance" "they won't do it again, let it slide" this is what they always say most especially if the sex offender has a upper hand or maybe influential. It will now be about protecting the image of that person rather than focusing on what they did. Now, the safety of the child victim is put aside for the offender to walk free again..

And my honest and brutal answer to this prompt is that, never should such person be allowed access to children, including thiers and if they are allowed, it should never be unsupervised regardless of how long they have served unless professional risk assessment says otherwise. I am not saying people cannot change for the best. But what I feel is that the cost of being wrong falls entirely on a child who has no power to say no, and no family member's confidence in someone's remorse is a substitute for that evaluation.
The real failure isn't refusing him access. It's letting comfort decide a child's safety instead of evidence.

Thank you for reading.

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