What I Didn’t Expect to Be Thankful For

“If I have only seconds, what will you say at gunpoint?” Seeing the notification on this prompt pop up this morning unsettled me at first because I have never thought of something like that before. I am always positive, not because bad things can't happen or I have nothing. But it bothers me that I am not even sure of what really matters when it seems like everything is about to be taken away.

Even though my title instructs me to always give thanks and rejoice in all situations. I know that a great number of people will say they are thankful for the gift of good health, money, a job, a good family, and so on. I am not disputing the fact that those things are of great value. But then, I had a very deep thought on this question asked, and my mind did not go to those things above, maybe because they are already part of the things I am mostly thankful for always. The thing my mind went to is something I have not even thought about that has been shaping me gradually.

There have been a lot of highs and lows in life, and things don't go as planned sometimes. There were times when I felt trapped. A lot of things I did didn't result in anything really tangible, some important plans didn't manifest, and sometimes I even questioned myself. And in those moments, it looked like nothing was really working for me.

Now when I took a deep reflection of the past as I was sitting in the corner of my room. I did not break the way I imagined I would. I bent, I repositioned myself, and I even drew back most times. But one thing I always do is that I never leave. I stayed. I could recall that there had been countless times, most especially recently, that I didn't feel as strong as before, and yet I always showed up for all responsibilities, either big or small. There are things I am currently getting myself to learn, and I see myself concentrating and getting it even when I am tired. It may not look like something very big on the outside, but deep inside of me, it means a lot.

So, to give an answer to this prompt, I will say that I am deeply and sincerely grateful for having that quiet strength I never imagined I was building. Not the lousy one that people will always appreciate or recognize, but the silent and steady one that has kept me going without attention or praise. And even if everything did not go as I had planned it. I just hope I think I can live with that because when I know that I didn't give myself out in the process, I think that is enough for me.

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