The Small Light I Didn’t Expect

Recently, a lot of things have been giving me real joy, from my family to friends and even to my little, little progress. I will say those things are joy enough, and the grace to even be amongst the living every blessed day is enough joy from my end.

But just this last month, around the middle of February, something unusual happened to me. Though I usually sleep very early, sometimes, I wake up at intervals, but for the last month until this very moment, I have been sleeping so soundly and peacefully without waking up at intervals to think of worrying much about my next move, money matters, and other stuff. It is like a burden left me, which I used to be scared of before. And that is a joy on my path.

Because for some time now, it has been survival mode for me. I wake up, hustle, check my phone, do some little housework, eat, and check my bills, and this has been going on for a while, like I have been in Lagos heavy traffic. I try doing my possible best because I don't want to remain at a point.
But recently, something not too big has been giving me inner joy. Writing. I am not talking about the heavy type people talk about. But just the normal one. The ability to write down some of my thoughts to improve my writing skills. Before, it was not easy for me to put down my head thoughts.

At first, after writing some, they look so awkward to me that I have to delete them because it sounds somehow when I read it again. At some point, I laugh at myself when I put some things down and I read them again. I will be like, People will think I am mad when they read this or come across it.

But one thing about me is I don't give up easily. I always keep going just to improve myself.
However, I shared one of my thoughts on my WhatsApp status. And I got a response from a friend whose comment stayed in my heart and gave me more ginger. He said that what I wrote just motivated him to do something that he has been running away from. And at the moment, the joy I felt made me realize that even some random thoughts can give someone some positivity they need and they are not as foolish or awkward as I usually think.

These days, when I look around, I see how people are pursuing stability, money, and work just to survive, and most people don't even have any time to reflect on themselves, and now most people are not really joyful even when they try to express it. It's just outward joy, not inner joy.
Recently, putting things down has been giving me joy because it has now become my escape plan from distractions and noise.

Though I have been writing here on Hive, and it has been fetching me some little, little change, I don't know if it will go beyond that to the extent of giving me recognition. But that is not even the point. But what I want is to keep doing it, to keep putting down my thoughts even on days when it is not easy, because right now, that is my recent joy, and I find peace in it.

Thank you for reading.

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