The Day I Chose Myself

Late last month, I did something very unusual, and it was hard for me to do. I decided to stay off-screen, not even on my phone, and ignored all messages, and calls from the morning of that day till late in the evening. I was just by myself, and I decided to step out to receive fresh air, which was absolutely great and refreshing.

At first, my mind was feeling guilty because over here, I was told to consider others in everything I am doing, but a day before I decided to stay off my screen, I spoke with a close relative and complained that I was feeling a pain in my eyes, and he advised that I should keep away from my screen for a while and see what happens next. I decided to follow what he said the next day but didn't inform anyone, and I know myself that even when I am tired, I still make myself available, but that very day, I just decided to be all by myself, which felt like betrayal at some point when my phone was ringing and receiving messages.

But that morning when I woke up, I was not feeling tired or anything but only the eye pain. After a while, I freshened up, dropped my phone in the house, and decided to step out of the house with only my wallet in my pocket. I took a bike to a spot and got some refreshments as I sat alone to enjoy my alone time. No explaining, no sharing.

While I was enjoying my alone time, I noticed how refreshing stepping away from my screen can be, how relaxed my body felt, and how people get to interact with each other in real life. At a point, a lady came to join me, which I gave her space to sit. We talked about life for a while, and we laughed together before she later left while I continued watching people pass and birds sing. At some point I wanted to enter the cinema that was nearby where I was sitting, but I also remembered the main purpose while I was outside.

That day may look so small, but as time went on, I felt some relief in my eyes, which really meant a lot to me. At that moment, I realized that I have not been prioritizing and attaching more importance to my health even though I usually advise people to always give themselves rest and do what is necessary. That day, I got to know that deciding to choose myself is not anything close to being selfish; no matter how some people might want to justify it, it is simply self-love for me, which I must say was really incredibly amazing. Is it a necessary thing to do? I will say yes because since then, I have been giving myself some little, little breaks from screen time. Showing up for others is good, picking up their calls is good, and replying to their text messages is also good. But if there is a need for me to disappear when my health calls for it, I will gladly do it because, God forbid, if anything bad happens to me, who will be there for me? And that is why I will always tell myself that it is not bad if I take a break to attend to myself too.

Thank you for reading.

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