When Hurt Begets Hurt: Breaking Free

It's not only in the movie that we see characters who were traumatised probably in their childhood stage go on to become adults who inflict the same pain they experienced on others. It happens for real, and some of us have even had the same experience. This is the reason why it is important that we acknowledge the pain or hurt we feel, open up to someone we can trust, or seek professional help and in some cases, seek justice for the traumatizing experience because one thing common to people who pass on this trauma is the lack of healing on their part and inability to see themselves beyond that even after several years.

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We can't deny that some hurtful experiences change us; pain has a way of breaking something in us, for example, you see a once happy and bubbling child become a shadow of themselves due to a traumatic experience, and at that moment, your sense of reasoning isn't right as emotions get in the way, some feel the only way they can feel less pain is passing the pain to another person, but the truth is that two wrongs don't make it right, being a victim yourself doesn't justify you getting another victim, and in such cases, as an inflicter they desrve to be punished as well.

How can we make this world, that is already deep down in atrocities, a better place if we keep on passing pain and hurt? The best way to have peace with yourself is rather help people not to fall victim to the same circumstances by sharing your experience so they can learn, and also by encouraging victims like you to speak up or seek healing, that way, you even find more peace within yourself and make those involve in such feel discouraged because they can't break your spirit.

A funny and innocent hurt experience I had as a child that made me feel like reciprocating the same was when I felt ill-treated by my aunties. I had about three strict aunties living with us as a child. At the same time, they were all disciplinarians compared to my mum who disciplined with love and care, my aunties especially one, who is late now, God rest her soul, was like Margret Thatcher, the iron lady, because of her extreme strictness, she could make someone feel worthless with the way she disciplined, and I never felt happy having her around, I think my introverted nature can be attributed to her. At the same time, I couldn't speak up to defend myself, even when she had painted me in a bad light to my parents, when I knew in my heart I hadn't done anything and was wrongly accused. I vowed to reciprocate with the same harshness to her children when I grew up.

It's funny because I'm grown and even have one of her daughters living with us, but far from the way I felt like as a child, I can't even imagine myself being a harsh aunty, i'm rather the fun loving and carefree aunt whom children love being around with, the hurt I felt as a child are all fizzled out now, it doesn't have to define the person I am today, and I don't want the young child passing same harshnesss to more children.