The needs for one of the parent to be a disciplinarian while the other to be a comforter

I never hated my mum for ruling with an iron fist, she does not waste time by bringing out a cane whenever I do something she doesn't like especially leaving the house for long hours.

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As a child, I just didn't like how she kept disturbing my life and wouldn't let me have fun the way I wanted it, it was when I became an adult that I fully understood why she was like that and now that there is no one to control me anymore that I should not go out, I fall in love with solitude and love staying indoor now cos I realized on my own that there is nothing out there.

Back then, she was protecting me and also making sure I did not become useless by playing with my life at such a tender age, many of us won't understand, we will see their harshness like they hate us, not until we become a parent or adult that everything becomes clearer. It is just the same way many people dislike their uncle for not helping them until they become an uncle too and realize life is hard lol.

I was rebellious as a child and no matter the flogging, I would still go out the next day to play knowing that I would be flogged again, but I act first then think later, the thought only comes when it is time to go home in the night after playing all day.

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Even though I did not succumb to her teachings of staying indoors, it helped me as an adult because somehow I later got used to that teaching and I would also want my children to live that way but won't use the same method my mama used.

I believe there should be a balance when parents are dealing with kids, both of them should not be harsh, one of them can be strict while the other one can be loving, so when the strict parent does his/her duty, the kid can run to the other for comfort... My dad was not strict at all with his kids and whenever I knew I had offended my mum and cane was waiting for me, I would run to my dad's bedroom unfortunately he is not often around because of his work, so by the time he comes back, the deed was already done.

I have the same character as my dad but I am already seeing the signs my wife is going to over-pamper our child, so I am taking up the role of the strict parent lol, being strict doesn't necessarily mean being harsh on them but when I notice she is over pampering them, I have to call all of them to order in the best way possible before things get out of hand.

When it comes to discipline, there are many ways to enforce this on the children, flogging them is not something that should happen often because, in the end, they will get used to it, so one needs to find other ways to discipline them, it could be threatening them not to buy their favorite game for them if they misbehave.

It could be promising to get them a bicycle if they do well in their academy, things like this motivate them to put their best effort into their studies without the need for you to be strict with them.

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