The Kind of Person I Have Always Been... And Who I am Becoming

One thing I love about myself is this: no one can ever say I took advantage of them.

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I always try to reciprocate kindness, not always in the same way, but in any way I can. If I can’t help you directly, I will find another way through your people.

I like my nature because it makes people comfortable around me. My friends can share their achievements and good news without feeling like I will start expecting something from them the next day. It creates a kind of peace in relationships.

I don’t easily share my problems. Not because I don’t have them, but because life has taught me that not everyone you open up to will help you; some will mock you, some will even be glad you are struggling. So I carry a lot in silence.

Even as a teen, I learned this early. Once, my parents travelled, and I lost my feeding money. I could have asked my friend’s mum for help while she was cooking, but I didn’t. Yet she noticed and called me to eat. That moment stuck with me… what if she hadn’t? I would have starved myself until my parents returned.

Another time in 2011, my best friend worked hard doing labour. On our way home, he would offer to buy me something, and I would say “no” even when I wanted it. After a while, he stopped asking and just gave me anyway.

In the same 2011, I lost my transport fare in school. I stayed at the garage, hoping I would see someone I knew boarding a cab. When I finally saw someone I knew, I still couldn’t bring myself to ask for help. I just prayed silently… and somehow, she called me to come and enter the cab as if she already understood my situation. God really showed up for me that day.

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So even in desperate times, I don’t ask for help easily. It is just not my nature. Maybe that is one reason I have been able to maintain friendships for years: I don’t disturb people. I don’t always need something from others, and that has helped me keep relationships stable.

The only people I won’t hesitate at all to ask for help are my immediate family—my siblings. They are always ready to help. They believe in me and would do anything to make me happy, as long as they can make it happen.

But things are changing now.

Back then, it was just me. I could go through pain alone and accept whatever came with it.

Now, as a family man, I can’t think that way anymore. I have responsibilities beyond myself. I can’t allow pride or silence to make my family suffer.

So I am learning balance. I am becoming more open to asking for help, but only from very close friends. People I trust deeply. People I know wouldn’t hesitate to help me if they had the means.

It is still me… just a more responsible version of me.

Just call me Burl.
I am a professional gamer, motivational speaker and a crypto enthusiast
Discord: burlarj
Twitter id: burlarj1
Telegram: burlarj
God exists, I am a living testimony
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