Self Care Isn't Selfish

It is easy to judge people when we have never walked in their shoes. I stopped judging others years ago when I came to understand that only the person going through a situation or those who have faced something similar can truly understand the reasons behind certain actions.

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Life has a way of teaching us that every decision people make often carries a story we may never fully see from the outside.

I have noticed some people are often labeled as stingy or selfish simply because they choose not to share what they have.

Such narratives spread quickly, and soon everyone assumes these people are uncaring, without getting to know them or their stories.

One example is the story of three students living together in a hostel.

Two of them were extravagant, often misusing their pocket money, while the third was careful and budgeted his money wisely for food and essentials. The two spendthrifts would frequently go out to eat at restaurants, and within a few weeks, they would run out of money and go hungry. The careful student, on the other hand, used his money to buy food that would last until the next allowance.

When the other two started begging him for food, he refused, and soon he was labeled as stingy and selfish. The rumor spread quickly, and even students who had never lived with them began to see him that way. It is a clear example of how fast a narrative can take hold, often without anyone understanding the full story.

_{me in one of the clothes}

As a family man, I realized I was a bit selfish this January by buying new clothes just for myself. I can’t even remember the last time I bought clothes for myself; it must have been back in 2024. Most of my clothes were taken by my nephews, leaving me with only a few favorites that I wear repeatedly. I have never been one to change clothes daily; I stick to what I like, which probably makes me easy to recognize whenever I am out.

Last month was my birthday, and I felt it was a good time to treat myself nicely. That same month, I followed my brother to Alaba Market to get something. When we alighted at Iyana Iba, I noticed a cloth seller by the road with some really nice male wears. I was surprised by how affordable they were. My wife had bought me the same cloth as a birthday gift for 11,000 naira, but this seller was offering it for just 6,000 naira.

That motivated me to buy six different types. I even bought one for 8,000 naira, and the quality and texture were far better than a 13,000 naira cloth I had purchased in Lagos. I also picked up two pairs of trousers, even though that wasn’t the original plan. I felt accomplished, but not quite satisfied, so I went back a few days later to get more clothes, just to be sure I could put an end to buying clothes for the rest of the year.

When I got home the first time, I showed my wife the clothes I had bought, and she asked if I had gotten anything for Ryan. I hadn’t, not because I didn’t want to, but because the seller didn’t have baby clothes, and I wasn’t ready to spend big on expensive ones. I guess, in that moment, last month was the time I allowed myself to be a little selfish.

Just call me Burl.
I am a professional gamer, motivational speaker and a crypto enthusiast
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