Desire For An Opposite Feedback On Attitude

There is absolutely something I heard and knew about while I was growing up from people who have had more years to experience how life and humans are right even before I started to distinguish between day and night or right and wrong. I held this statement so dear to me that it helped me in not allowing what people say to really get to me till the extent at which it determines the horrible state I fall in if it's a negative remark and that is

What people say about me is not important but what God says about me.

However, there are sometimes when we just have to pause, take a break to reflect on how we have been living our lives and possibly get feedbacks.
There are times we feel like we are still on track and unfortunately we've just stepped out of the lane and just what people around us says makes us get back on track. Sometimes, it might look like critics and at times it may look like a genuine feedback.

I remember a time back then, probably 2 or 3 years ago, I wanted to know how people see me as. Their positive and negative opinion about me but sincerely I was looking forward to the negative feedbacks actually cos my belief is that there is no way I can be perfect.
It makes me feel deceived when no one actually points it out to me that I am bad in one way or the other. Like, I'm not an angel please so tell me my bad manners that I may not know of.

Over the years, my late mum, family and friends had always referred to me as being calm and gentle. I know I was but I figured out that with that people weren't relating with me cos I would rather read, write, draw things than talk.

And this is the reason why I do tell people that, if you're a bad person, you choose to be bad and if you're a good person, it also shows that you chose to be a good person cos absolutely no one is born with the fixed destiny to be bad or good in life.

I wanted to relate with people more and not just be seen as gentle or be taken for granted for it so I started speaking up, trying to connect with people and even though I'm still not totally let loose of my original act, I can say it is far away better than before and right now, people around me would say I should have studied mass communication than the computer science I studied.

Everything people around me say about me so far have always tally, and I still remain the sweet girl they've always known, who's ready to be there for them in good and bad times.
Even when my sister and my late mum would say I hardly speak up on what's wrong with me or the issues I'm facing but would wanna hear theirs and try to solve it, I knew they are right but I just didn't want to burden them.

I take their kind words to heart and feel glad that I was been good and seen good to the people I hold important to me but SINCERELY, I wish someone can tell me something different from what I've been hearing like where I'm lagging behind or not really acting cool. Weird right? Lol
That doesn't mean I'm changing who I am just to get a negative feedback anyway.

I'll be dropping my 🖊️ here on the Hive Learners community prompt

Thanks for reading through 🤗

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