AM I BEAUTIFUL?

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_{IMAGE BY MART PRODUCTION}

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"Am I beautiful?"

"Maybe?"

That question I asked my mom and it's answer marked a turning point in my life. I always believed that the ones you love will tell you the truth about yourself, even if the world lies to you. So her answer presented an option to me.

It told me I had a 50/50 chance of being beautiful or ugly. And like every ten-year-old girl, I wanted to be beautiful.

So I started wearing makeup to make sure that I'd be beautiful.

I played with lip gloss for a start and as I grew into an adult I experimented even more to make sure I looked beautiful.

My desire grew into a small business, and with time, a big brand.

I smiled and let my hands run through the vanity mirror and all the products on it. Pride and bite-sized bits of contentment ran through me. I did this. I did this.

I picked up my phone and tried to call Alexandro again but it didn't go through.

"He blocked me." I sighed.

"We need to do this photoshoot right now for us to start marketing these products. He can't bail on us now. He…" I paused and forced myself to breathe.

I toyed with my phone and scrolled to the quiz section of the newest magazine on my phone to distract myself, and hummed as I went through the questions.

A spark of interest lit up in me as I read the first line. "Let us guess how you take your coffee using your looks." I read out loud. I subdued my smile and scrolled on.

These kinds of quizzes were never correct when I came to me so I decided to take it to test it's credibility.

I skipped the intro to read the first question and smiled as I read it out loud. "Makeup or no makeup?"

"Makeup. Always."

"Heavy or light make-up? Or both?" I hummed and repeated the question in my head. "Both."

"With Luxurious make-up brands or without?"

"With." I snorted. "I create my makeup."

"Would you rather go in the rain with no makeup or wear makeup in the rain?"

"Hmm. That's a tough one." I tapped my chin and remembered the day it happened to me. I chuckled as I remembered how I looked. "The first one." I tapped it.

"Would you play around with a crazy mix of colours for your makeup?"

"No. Never." I clicked my answer.

"Last question." The red bubble floated on my screen. It bobbed side to side, I tapped my fingers on the table as I waited for it to disappear.

"Input your looks."

I sighed and typed in my looks.

Light skinned. Tiny blue eyes. Brown wavy hair.

"Lip shape?" I snorted as I read it out. I shook my head and typed in heart-shaped lips.

"Tiny nose and small ears." I read out the rest of the description and tapped send. I bit my nails as I watched it load.

"Tiana?" One of my artists came into the make-up room. I jumped from my seat and shot her a shaky smile. She tossed a weird look at me and said, "He's here. Alexandro is ready."

I heaved a sigh and muttered a prayer to the heavens.

Alexandro, my photographer and ex, was the only available man for the photo shoot of my new products and lucky for me he accepted to show up.

"He's such a good guy. Even with how I treated him last night…" I shook my head as my phone pinged.

"Still loading." I rolled my eyes and nodded to my artist. "Go check the set again. Make sure everyone's ready."

She nodded and closed the curtain but not without shooting me another weird look.

I sighed and ignored her looks. The anticipation took me back to my childhood when I asked my mom the question that changed my life.

My phone pinged again and I grabbed it with both hands.

"Black like my heart," I chuckled. It was exactly how I began to describe my coffee. I squinted at the tiny word beside it and read it out loud.

"...is what you like to say. But this is really how you take your coffee," I swallowed and watched as it loaded again.

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_{IMAGE BY MART PRODUCTION}

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"Black with sugar, milk and anything powdered or liquid you can lay your hands on." I laughed at the accuracy and continued reading. "You love makeup. You wear it a lot to cover up your beauty." My heart skipped as I read the last words.

It played in my head over and over again. I silenced the voice in my head and said, "It's just a quiz. I'm still 50% beautiful and this product will increase my chances by 10 percent."

I looked at my phone screen to keep on reading but my eyes strayed back to the part about beauty. The memory of why Alex and I fought popped into my head.

I laughed a weird laugh. "Alex is wrong. I need to release this product to look more beautiful. I'm doing this for myself and a lot of women in the world."

I looked back at my phone and continued to read.

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_{Image by Katerina Holmes}

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"But you don't have to. You're beautiful. You can drink coffee with just milk and sugar. It'll still taste nice." My hands shook, I dropped the phone beside me and shook my head.

I breathed in and out multiple times then laughed. My laughter sounded weird to my ears but I didn't care.

"Are the psychics online these days?" I chuckled.

"This quiz, like all the others, is a lie. So disappointing." I let my phone lie on the chair, shook my head and left the room.

I have a shoot to prepare for.