Humor, Wit and Sassiness

I looked around my sitting room, full of excitement and fulfillment. I took in the lovely decoration I had to singlehandedly do, today was my pajama party and I had to make sure everything was ready before my girls came.

I did the happy dance and made my way to the kitchen with my coffee cup in my hand, feeling the warmth from the hot liquid I felt insurmountable.
I took a seat, and while trying to finish the remaining content of my coffee I heard someone giggle, for the first few seconds I was taken aback but remembering it was my coffee machine I scoffed.

It's been a few months now since I started hearing animals and objects speak, I don't know if it was supposed to be a thing of joy or curse. I am now a real-life princess Sofia the first who hears and talks to animals but the only difference between us was that I didn't need an amulet to talk to these animals and objects I just talk to them like I was born for it. You can call that my magical powers.

"I don't think any of the girls are going to show up", my coffee machine chuckled.

"Imagine none of them turn up just because of how boring you are, who's gonna eat all those cakes and food?", my coffee machine asked whilst laughing really hard.

I glared at it and if glaring could destroy an object, this machine would have been long gone.

"I am not boring, my type of fun is different from the rest of the world", I defended myself.

"Hahahaha keep telling yourself that, you are damn boring and as a machine in your kitchen your boringness is about to end my life", my coffee machine laughed harder this time.

"No, I am not!" I exclaimed

"Oh yes you are your Royal Boringness"

"No, I am NOT!" I shot back.

I took a minute to understand what was happening in my kitchen and I couldn't help but burst into laughter. Here I was going back and forth with an object in my kitchen. "Have I lost it?", is this supposed to ever happen in real life?"

"Hahahahhaha you are just realizing that you have lost it?, girl I knew this since you bought me at the mall”. The coffee machine replied.

“That’s not true!” I cried out.

“It’s so true but you don’t know it! We know it and we feel so sorry for you”, my coffee machine said before laughing again.

“I’m I that bad? Like both boring and crazy?” I said thinking out loud.

The moment I realized I was in my kitchen having an argument with a supposedly crazy inanimate object I shook my head and laughed again till my stomach hurt.

I looked at my coffee machine and patted it,
“You might be old, rusty, and crazy but you do spew out facts you know?”, I smiled at the machine.

“You just discovered this cool trait about me now? Girl you might be everything but I didn’t think you’d be this slow!”

“Huh?” I looked at the coffee machine in astonishment.

“Yes, huh?”

“I really need to throw you out at this point!” I yelled.

“By all means your Royal boringness”, the coffee machine said.

Done with my coffee, I shook my head and left the kitchen, I had a big party to prepare for and there was no way this old crazy, and rusty machine was going to get under my skin.

“Not today you crazy arse machine, not today”. I said as I made my way out of the kitchen to go check on my clothes in the washing machine.

_{All images are mine except otherwise stated.}

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