Lesson learned so far: Quit expecting

We learn everyday, sometimes the hard way and other times from people's flaws and its consequences. But those which stick stronger are the ones you experience personally, and that's why experience remains one's best teacher. One greatest lesson I've learned this year is not to expect anything, you have nothing until you already have it, thus the saying "a bird at hand is better than ten thousand in the bush". I may never have understood this quote better until earlier this year and all the disappointment that came along with it. I know in the future I'll be grateful for this lesson, but in the meantime I paid with tears and blood to stay sane and move on.

This year started with a lot of promises. I may have argued if anyone had told me I wouldn't be counting millionaires before this second quarter of the year. It looked like everything was set, and already approaching and all I needed was to stay alive until the very date. But I was wrong, nothing is truly yours until it's yours. In the joy of it, I had high expectations, made a lot of promises to people, moved faster than my shadow to start planning projects, collected a few bucks to settle some things hoping to pay back once my awaiting expectations come true,but unfortunately it never did.

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Days passed, weeks and months as I watched the expectations dash on the wall, breaking every part of it into pieces. I started looking for reasons why it is delaying, why what felt like tomorrow has gradually drifted into the year. I already have bills I've piled up hoping to settle, already have promises lying unattended to, the goals, everything added up became my nightmare. What was once a joy, because my haunt. My expectant heart started to bleed making everything around me feel hot. I knew it was my fault, I knew it was because of the expectation I had, And I also knew all my wrong decisions were based on my expectations. None happened, every of the high hope melted into fresh pain and this became a nightmare instead of bliss. I have learned, and I know it'll stick hard-Expect nothing, make no plans with expectations. Nothing is yours until you already have it.