SECRET N° 317 The Shell Wars 01

Chapitre 1

À l’aube brumeuse d’un jour de Grand Rangement, lorsque les feuilles tombent avec la prĂ©cision d’un discours de hibou sĂ©nateur, la canopĂ©e entiĂšre retint son souffle. Un Ă©vĂ©nement inimaginable, impensable, presque anti-glandique venait de secouer le Tronc Central : la Reine ChĂątaigne avait disparu.

Il ne s’agissait pas d’un petit retard diplomatique Ă  une rĂ©union avec les taupes (ce qui, avouons-le, Ă©tait assez courant, les taupes ayant le sens du timing d’un caillou humide). Non. Ce matin-lĂ , la salle du TrĂŽne de Lichen, perchĂ©e au sommet de l’Arbre-Banque, ne contenait que son diadĂšme de coquilles brodĂ©es d’écorces dorĂ©es... et une seule plume noire, dĂ©posĂ©e sur le coussin de mousse royale.

PANIC AU SOMMET

L’alerte fut immĂ©diatement dĂ©clenchĂ©e. Des Ă©cureuils Ă©claireurs s’élancĂšrent Ă  travers les branches comme des flĂšches poilues, relayant le message dans les quatre quadrants de la ForĂȘt d’Écorcia.

« La Reine a disparu ! Disparue ! Avec tous les biscuits noisette ! »

Les cris rĂ©sonnaient jusque dans les terriers les plus profonds. Au sol, dans le Grand MarchĂ© des Ronces, les castors arrĂȘtĂšrent de sculpter leurs figurines de glands miniatures. Les hĂ©rissons, en pleine rĂ©pĂ©tition de leur ballet martial, s’écroulĂšrent en boule. MĂȘme les hiboux — connus pour leur sang-froid lĂ©gendaire et leur expression constipĂ©e permanente — Ă©carquillĂšrent les yeux de 2 % supplĂ©mentaires.

L’ENQUÊTE DU GÉNÉRAL CASTAGNOR

AppelĂ© en urgence, le gĂ©nĂ©ral Castagnor, commandant suprĂȘme des LĂ©gions Écureuilliennes, fit son entrĂ©e dramatique dans la salle du trĂŽne, le manteau hĂ©rissĂ© de branches et l’Ɠil vif comme un gland grillĂ©.

— "Par les poils sacrĂ©s de Grand-Papa Noisette... C’est un coup montĂ© !", grogna-t-il en flairant la plume noire.

Pluminette, espionne de haut vol et attachĂ©e diplomatique des Pies, apparut soudain dans un nuage de plumes et d’insolence.

— "Pourquoi ce serait forcĂ©ment un coup des Pies, hein ? C’est parce que j’ai une queue plus stylĂ©e que la vĂŽtre, c’est ça ?"

— "Vous ĂȘtes la seule ici Ă  perdre vos plumes en prĂ©sence de la Reine, Pluminette.", rĂ©torqua Castagnor, la moustache frĂ©missante.

Un silence gĂȘnant. Quelques grognements Ă©touffĂ©s. L’insinuation Ă©tait claire. Et probablement vraie. Mais ça n’expliquait pas tout.

LES THÉORIES FUSENT

Le Conseil des Grands Rameaux fut convoquĂ© en urgence. InstallĂ©s sur des champignons gĂ©ants, les reprĂ©sentants des espĂšces forestiĂšres s’affrontĂšrent Ă  coups d’accusations dĂ©lirantes :

Les castors : "C’est les blaireaux ! Ils creusent des tunnels jusqu’à nos stocks !"

Les blaireaux : "FAUX ! C’est les grenouilles ninja ! Elles bondissent partout, on ne les voit jamais !"

Les grenouilles ninja (qu’on ne voyait effectivement pas) : "Croñ."

Les hiboux : "C’est un signe du destin. Une Ăšre nouvelle commence. Peut-ĂȘtre mĂȘme un spin-off."

Pendant ce temps, les lapins avaient dĂ©jĂ  fondĂ© un nouveau royaume autoproclamĂ© basĂ© sur la carotte comme monnaie alternative. Cela ne dura que 47 minutes avant l’effondrement du systĂšme boursier des rongeurs.

L’HYPOTHÈSE INTERDITE

Un mot interdit se murmura bientĂŽt dans les racines et les feuillages : Le Rat.

Longtemps banni, le Clan du Rat Gris Ă©tait censĂ© avoir disparu depuis la Guerre des Tunnels CrottĂ©s. Mais des rumeurs parlaient d’un retour. D’une armĂ©e de rongeurs tatouĂ©s aux dents limĂ©es en forme de lames. Et surtout, de leur chef mythique...

Le Grand Rongeur, alias : Croque-Silence.

Certains disaient qu’il pouvait broyer un gland d’un seul regard. D’autres qu’il contrĂŽlait les fouines avec des chansons anciennes. Tous Ă©taient d’accord : s’il Ă©tait de retour... la guerre serait inĂ©vitable.

LES DERNIÈRES TRACES
De retour Ă  la salle du trĂŽne, Castagnor inspectait les lieux. La plume noire. Une trace de griffure sur l’écorce. Et une miette de biscuit aux noisettes ambrĂ©es, introuvable depuis trois cycles lunaires.

Il fronça les sourcils. Et soudain, un souvenir lui revint. La Reine aimait ces biscuits. Un seul boulanger savait les faire. Un certain... Gaspard, le Hérisson-Chef, désormais retiré dans les Marais Brumeux.

— "Nous partons dĂšs l’aube. Il est temps de rĂ©veiller la Brigade de la Coquille."

Un écureuil bondit sur place :
— "La Brigade ? Celle avec le blaireau trop nerveux, la pie schizophrùne et le lapin pyromane ?!"

Castagnor hocha la tĂȘte.
— "Ils sont fous. Mais ils sont loyaux. Et... ils n’ont jamais perdu une noisette."

chapter 1

On the misty dawn of the Great Tidying Day, when leaves fell with the precision of an owl senator’s speech, the entire canopy held its breath. An unimaginable, unthinkable, almost anti-acorn event had just shaken the Central Trunk: Queen Chestnut had vanished.

This wasn’t just a diplomatic tardiness to a meeting with the moles (which, admittedly, was fairly common—moles having the timing sense of a damp pebble). No. That morning, the Lichen Throne Room, perched atop the Bank-Tree, held only her diadem of shells embroidered with golden bark
 and a single black feather, resting on the royal moss cushion.

PANIC AT THE SUMMIT

The alarm was raised immediately. Scout squirrels shot through the branches like furry arrows, relaying the message to all four quadrants of the Bark Forest.

“The Queen is gone! Vanished! Along with all the hazelnut biscuits!”

The cries echoed down to the deepest burrows. On the ground, in the Grand Bramble Market, beavers stopped carving their miniature acorn figurines. Hedgehogs, mid-rehearsal of their martial ballet, curled into panicked balls. Even the owls—known for their legendary composure and permanent constipated expressions—widened their eyes by an extra 2%.

GENERAL CHESTNUT’S INVESTIGATION

Summoned urgently, General Chestnut, supreme commander of the Squirrel Legions, made his dramatic entrance into the throne room, his cloak bristling with twigs and his eyes sharp as a roasted acorn.

“By the sacred whiskers of Grandpa Hazelnut
 This is a setup!” he growled, sniffing the black feather.

Plumette, high-flying spy and diplomatic attaché of the Magpies, suddenly appeared in a cloud of feathers and insolence.

“Why does it have to be the magpies, huh? Just because my tail’s more stylish than yours?”

“You’re the only one here who sheds feathers in the Queen’s presence, Plumette,” retorted Chestnut, his whiskers twitching.

An awkward silence. A few muffled grumbles. The insinuation was clear. And probably true. But it didn’t explain everything.

THEORIES FLY

The Council of the Great Branches was urgently convened. Seated on giant mushrooms, representatives of the forest species hurled wild accusations:

The beavers: “It’s the badgers! They’ve been tunneling into our stockpiles!”

The badgers: “LIES! It’s the ninja frogs! They leap everywhere—you never see them!”

The ninja frogs (who were, indeed, unseen): “Ribbit.”

The owls: “This is fate’s sign. A new era dawns. Perhaps even
 a spin-off.”

Meanwhile, the rabbits had already founded a self-proclaimed new kingdom based on carrots as alternative currency. It lasted 47 minutes before the rodent stock market crashed.

THE FORBIDDEN HYPOTHESIS

Soon, a forbidden word slithered through roots and foliage: The Rat.

Long banished, the Gray Rat Clan was thought extinct since the War of the Filthy Tunnels. But rumors spoke of their return. Of an army of tattooed rodents with teeth filed into blades. And above all, of their mythical leader


The Great Gnawer, aka: Silence-Chewer.

Some said he could crush an acorn with a single glare. Others claimed he controlled weasels with ancient songs. All agreed: if he was back
 war was inevitable.

THE LAST CLUES

Back in the throne room, Chestnut inspected the scene. The black feather. A claw mark on the bark. And a single crumb of amber-hazelnut biscuit—unseen for three lunar cycles.

He frowned. Then, suddenly, a memory struck him. The Queen loved those biscuits. Only one baker knew how to make them. A certain
 Gaspard the Hedgehog-Chief, now retired in the Misty Marshes.

“We leave at dawn. It’s time to wake the Shell Brigade.”

A squirrel leapt up: “The Brigade?! The one with the twitchy badger, the schizo magpie, and the pyromaniac rabbit?!”

Chestnut nodded.
“They’re insane. But they’re loyal. And
 they’ve never lost a hazelnut.”


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