FROM DEFENSIVENESS TO DISCERNMENT

There is one thing I have come to realize about my reactions to people’s comments about me. Whenever they have something positive to say about me, I feel happy and not judged. I don’t get defensive about them saying good things about me. The best thing I do is try to give the glory to God, and that’s it. But when they have something negative to say about me, it is a different story completely. I try to get defensive and not even analyze what they are saying and why they are saying such things about me. The truth is, there are some people who will always have bad things to say about me, but that’s not my problem.

The interesting thing is that whenever someone makes a statement or says anything about you, it didn’t just happen that way. It wasn’t a coincidence at all. They have probably really watched us closely, and that was all they noticed, or they have heard something about us that somehow, because of our first impression, we proved right. Or they just don’t like us for some reason, and all they think of doing is say bad things about us. There are also others who tell us the truth unfiltered, but all we see when they speak is hate and judgment.

There was one time when someone confronted me with a part of me that I always like to hide and act like I don’t have. When they said I was that kind of person, I knew they were right, but I was just more focused on their approach of telling me about it. I made them feel really bad for ever trying to judge me, all in the name of correcting me, and that was how I noticed how they grew silent. No matter how much they have to say, they speak as little as possible and avoid anything that concerns me because they already saw me as someone who hates correction and someone who is always right in her own eyes.

Well, I didn’t take their correction at that time. I wish I did. I ignored their advice and kept on hiding that part of me, thinking that by doing that, I’ll be able to kill that part of me somehow without fully acknowledging it. After some years, someone else confronted me about similar things, and it was at that point I realized that I had been foolish letting my pride get in the way of my growth. That day, I wanted to defend myself as I always do, but something in me felt those words differently, and I just listened. While the person was still speaking, I remembered what the other person said, and I knew that it was time to confront my fears.

From that moment, it felt like my life flashed before my eyes. I ignored people’s words easily when they are hurtful or truthfully offensive. I don’t even give myself a chance to listen to them calmly and try to know why they think that way about me. It’s easy to feel accused, but that doesn’t stop us from always listening to what others have to say about us. We might be doing things the right way, but sometimes we can get some little things wrong, and these people around us who are bold enough to confront us with what they have seen are people that we need to find the missing pieces.

Being quick to hear and slow to speak is not something that a lot of us find easy to do, but it is something we really have to learn if we truly want to see ourselves grow. The people around us have eyes, and they see what we do. They get some things right and others wrong, but it is a privilege to have them tell us what they see about us because it will help us know what we need to improve on.

For me, I take Jesus Christ as my mentor, so whenever I’m confronted by anyone regarding anything, Christ is my measure. If they say I’m a certain way and Christ doesn’t approve of it, I know that I need to fix that. If it’s the other way around, I just listen but continue doing what I know is right, not in my own sight but in the sight of God. It’s a bit unlike the usual, but I try to shape my life not by another man’s standards but by God’s. That way, it is easy for me to identify the truth in those harsh words or judgments I hear from people.

Thank you for reading through. 💜