Where did we go wrong?
A long long time ago, a much younger @bozz was going to university to one day become a teacher. After a couple of semesters, I started thinking about it a bit more and I realized there was a good chance that one day I would likely "burn out" if I took that route.
I fell back to my longtime passion computers, and eventually I found myself working as the CIO for a public school district. It would seem I ended up getting the best of both worlds right? Along the road, I met my wife @mrsbozz who works in the same district as a school social worker.
I'll be the first to admit that her job is much harder than mine. Sure, a server or switch might go down here or there, Internet can be a bit flakey at times, or kids find a way to look at porn. For the most part though, my job just isn't that difficult. At least I don't find it so. That doesn't mean I am not challenged in my career, but that is actually not the point of this post.
I've been following @tarazkp on HIVE for a while now. He writes some pretty introspective stuff and with a few small exceptions, I tend to agree with pretty much everything he writes. Lately, we have had some brief discussions about kids these days and given the direction things are heading, what the future might hold for them.
In my years working in education, I've started to realize that there is a whole generation of students that we seem to have failed. Here's an example from my wife. She's seen pretty much everything anymore and she has some stories that would blow your mind.
She was telling me the other day about how a teacher had sent home a small reading book for the students to go through at home. This is first grade level, so nothing hard, nothing long, just a little five page booklet or so that the teacher stapled together (probably on their weekend), and sent home.
Believe it or not, not one, but two parents called the school to express their displeasure about this booklet coming home. It wasn't the content of the book, it wasn't even the length of the book, it was the fact that they even sent it home in the first place.
This isn't a direct quote, but the parents reasoning went something like this:
When the kids are home that is family time, it's not my job to teach them, that is why we pay you.
Really? It's not your job to teach your kids? It's just your job to have fun with them I would imagine. It's just your job to never say no to them, to never allow them to suffer adversity or be challenged by hard problems or concepts.
I remember back when I was in school, homework was pretty much a staple. Pretty much every night there were math problems to work out, spelling words to memorize, or chapters to be read in a book. Then if you happened to go to university, I remember them saying something like for every one hour you spend in lecture you will be spending two hours doing work at home.
That's not the case anymore (at least at the elementary level). In fact, it's quite rare that any homework is ever sent home in the building where my wife works. Why? Because they know it will never get done, so what's the point. Parents don't want to parent. Rather than holding child accountable, it's much easier to hold the school accountable.
Heck, post something on social media and you will likely have a whole army of people ready to help you burn the building down. How dare they make my child use their brain! How dare they imply that I should have any hand in raising my kid into a respectable adult!
The sad thing is, I don't really blame the kids at this point. @mrsbozz has always said if she could fix the parents, she wouldn't have a job.
Another thing that @mrsbozz always points out to me is that trauma is generational. I think it could be argued that apathy, lack of ambition, and feeling like the eternal victim is generational as well. Somewhere along the line, the earlier generation offended the younger generation to the point that they feel the need to correct those "violations" with their own children.
The problem with that is... Well, just re-read the post if you didn't see the problem the first time.
Most of us are doing the best we can here people. If you could just give us a little help, it would be greatly appreciated! I don't know what the fix is, but if you aren't seriously worried about where this is all heading, you might want to open your eyes!
Sports Talk Social - @bozz.sports
What a mess.... I spent way too many years in school, many, many beyond high school and I always had to work hard and had lots of homework. On top of that I always had a part time job. I really can't even fathom how some parents can complain about a little homework. What went wrong with those parents that they see homework as an invasion of their family time. Maybe they are just lazy and don't want to have to help their kids with homework.
The whole concept really just blows my mind... Like I've said many times, I don't recognize the country I grew up in or the one I served as a member of the armed forces....
Yeah, it's pretty odd and I can't really put my finger on it. Even my relatives are a bit more lax about things like sending their kids to school in general. When I was a kid I had to be on my death bed to miss a day. Now, people are like oh, I just decided to let them stay home for the day. I don't get it.
It's beyond me, absolute bizzaro world...
Wow.
I was fortunate enough to be able to home school my kids for about 6 years starting in 2016. Middle and elementary, the oldest wanted to go to high school so we let her go, the rest did the same when they got to that age.
There are many caring folks working in the public school system, frankly, I don't know how they keep battling upstream with that passion day after day. Parents are idiots. The government does not care about the schools, other than making sure they keep pumping out worker-bees that don't question anything.
Post-covid school is more lax than EVER!
Kudos to you and @mrsbozz (mostly @mrsbozz, from the sound of it 😆) for hanging in there and fighting the good fight for these school kids that seem to be more of an afterthought for most people.
!PIMP
I honestly don't know why some people even have kids. It's pretty horrible. Get a friend or better yet a dog if you want companionship. At least own up to the fact that it's a job and it's one you need to take responsibly being a parent.
Very nice post, thank you, I think you are right, everything you wrote, today's parents will not bother much with their children and learn with them what our parents taught, they now want to sit and enjoy their lives and that's exactly what they say that's why teachers are paid to teach their students and not for us to work with them. That is wrong, every parent should work with their children from home, just like the teachers do
It's pretty ridiculous if you ask me. I think there should be some kind of minimum competency test or psych eval for people to have kids these days.
Knowing when to make generalizations and being mindful of what we do with them are important.
To assume that all parents are the same is to generalize.
It reminds me of our office discussion on the topic. As no two groups are alike, generalizations are inherently erroneous.
We run the risk of generalizing when we make judgments about other people or ourselves. Before we have an opportunity to learn, we might hate, hurt, and harass. Worst of all, we can use generalizations to defend our behavior. It creates dread and rage toward entire groups of people and shuts the door to new information and individualism. Thus, it's important to recognize when we're doing it, when it's beneficial, and when it results in errors and injustices.
But I do get what you mean and where you are coming from, @bozz, !LOL
Unfortunately, or fortunately, the school district is in the business of educating the child (as well as the parent/s). And it does take the whole village!
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Generalizations are definitely a thing, but so are trends and the trend is definitely tilting towards more and more of the generalized parents. Heck we have parents who don't even think it is their job to potty train their kids these days. When teachers have to change diapers for K and 1st graders, then something is wrong.
Some parents definitely need help in potty training their toddlers! What does the district say in those situations?
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In Japan, we call those types of parents "monster parents". It's an interesting thing... because it seems to be happening all over the developed world. What is similar enough in all developed country cultures to have led to a percentage of parents acting this way? Or maybe some percentage of parents have always been this way, but society used to tell them "get over it" and moved on, whereas today we have handed them more power.
Hmm... I don't know. It is a bad trend. I wonder what "family time" is for the families that said that. If they are all playing board games and having group discussions all night, well, good for them I guess. That would be some amazing family time. Sadly what I think is more likely is that the parents want to enjoy their screens without the kids distracting them with requests for help on their homework. I know the stereotype is that the Baby Boomers were the most selfish generation and that they screwed the Western world with their greediness, but... I think Gen X and the Millennials are just as selfish. Parents like the ones you are speaking of being prime examples.
Yeah, that is a good point. I think we are all equally selfish, but it ends up being two different categories. Perhaps the boomers were more selfish with their money, but it's likely because they had to be given their parents went through wars and depressions. Today it seems they are more selfish with their time, which when applied properly isn't a bad thing, but when it comes to your kids, selfless should be the rule rather than the exception!
Screens are not only a problem for children, but also a problem for parents. Most parents nowadays prefer to entertain themselves rather than dedicate time to helping their child with a school activity, or even giving genuine attention to what they need. It's a sad reality, but as a mother, I tend to notice how my daughter's behavior often differs from that of her peers at school simply because I limit the amount of time she spends on screen and encourage her to read from an early age. I'm curious about what the future will be like, with children becoming more and more dependent and not learning the basics that their family should teach them. Unfortunately, there are parents who think that it is only the school's role to educate, when in fact the school should be an extension of what happens at home.
Very well written! I agree with all of this. Sadly, parents are even starting to expect schools to handle the non academic pieces for their children as well.
its beyond I must say
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