Finding Confidence Behind the Lens

While a lot of people can effortlessly take pictures and videos anywhere and anytime some people can’t and that’s okay.

I was having a conversation with a friend today and he pointed out something profound about taking pictures.

He said a lot of people don’t like to take pictures because they feel insecure about certain parts of their body or body size and pictures highlight these features so they feel uncomfortable by merely staring at their pictures.

This made so much sense. I’ve seen people decline to take pictures because they feel a certain kind of way and I too have felt a certain way about my pictures.

Back then, in 2018, I put on so much weight, and I loved how I looked. I could take tons of pictures without backing down. I was always ready for the camera, but a year later, I became sick, lost a lot of weight, and I stopped taking pictures.

I’d always criticize how I looked in pictures, “ohh my eyes look like this”, “ohh my neck looks like that”. After criticizing myself and being brutal to myself I’d delete the pictures immediately without giving it a second thought.

How did I move from the girl who loved pictures to not taking pictures? Even though I am a bit camera shy I had my moments but all of it died instantly.

I hated taking pictures of myself as well as taking group pictures. Pictures were a reminder of how skinny I looked.

Was I happy with all of these? Absolutely not. I felt sad, not taking pictures month after month and also not documenting my memories took a big hit on my self-confidence.

I took solace in taking pictures of my family, friends, and loved ones. I was the go-to camerawoman for everyone. I had the time and also the right phone for the job and I never disappoint.

With IB you were sure she was going to take you multiple pictures without backing down. In my head, I made a commitment to make people happy with their pictures. Since I couldn’t feel the same way about my pictures I wanted everyone I took pictures of to have at least 5 to 7 pictures of themselves that they loved. Watching them smile as they stare at each picture gladdened my heart. “I was on the right path” or so I thought😃

I concluded that I wasn’t photogenic and that I was fine as long as I looked great in person😃

Like they say we are our worst critic, we know everything going on in our body and we criticize every feature that does not conform to societal expectations. We don’t just stop there as we wear it as a sleeve, once someone gets closer they are able to see right through us.

It took a while for me to get rid of my insecurities, it took a while to understand that I was drop-dead gorgeous, and skinny girls rock too🥰🥰

Embracing my body type, I began to take pictures. I started by using my tripod to take pictures. It wasn’t easy at first but I was making progress.

With my tripod, I was able to practice different poses and I saw different parts of me that I loved. I turned a blind eye to the “perfect societal features” to “my best features” and it’s safe to say this is working for me.

I am beginning to love myself every single day and it's been an amazing journey.

So yeah, this is my photography journey.

My advice to anyone struggling with taking pictures just because you feel you don’t look good enough or cool enough, just know that it’s not that deep.

Take pictures because you want to, be comfortable with your skin tone, body size, and your body in general, the world doesn’t notice half of what you are scared of😃

Phewww been a while since I shared a poignant story here🙂

_{All images are mine except otherwise stated.}

Thanks for stopping by
Loads of Love🥰🥰
XOXO