No Sleep When Much is Needed!

For a while now, I’ve told myself that all would happen in due time as long as I did the right thing. But maybe, that’s just an excuse to justify my behaviour.

The first question posed by the Ladies of Hive community is no ordinary one (at least to me) as it made the very thing I seem to avoid pop in my mind. Sleep.

I am sure that is the go-to of many women. Sleep is important to our mortality and our activities for each day. A well rested mind is active and responsive. And rest isn’t only when you close your eyes. Rest can happen in any form as long as you find fulfilment in it. But I digress.

Given the current situation of things, I am needed to be active for long hours in the day in different locations and this has brought clarity to just how vital rest is. Most especially sleep. When I can, I prefer to just sleep. Sleep in. Sleep for hours and wake up when I want. But the truth is, I can no longer do that. This might be a sign to something much bigger but I have no idea what it is yet.

I am an early morning person. Does that mean I wake up chirpy? Not at all. I wake up snappy, bitchy and almost ready for a fight. Battling grogginess and racing thoughts is no small feat. But I get up nonetheless. Things need to be done. Money must be made. I just need to show up. So when I say I’m an early person, it means I’m compelled to. I have no choice.

For as long as I can remember, I wake up as early as 6am; sleep is taken from me at that moment and I just can’t sleep anymore. Even on my days off, I can’t. I toss and turn and try to get my body to lie in but there is this stopper in my mind that gets me to wake up even if I slept by 4am that morning. I suspected insomnia but then again, I didn’t think so because I slept heavily during my ovulation cycle.

One more thing is how I seem scared to fall asleep even when I know I should. With how much I have tired myself during the day, sleep should be all that’s on my mind (which it is) but then I climb my bed and my eyes are wide open. Day or night. The only way I fall asleep? Turn on a movie.

Since sleep seems to elude me, I do something else to ease my stress. Watch a movie. I end up falling asleep every time I do but when I don’t, it’s magical.

I have found my rhythm with K-Drama. Their movies are always filled with the right kind of humour. You just can’t go wrong especially when looking for a good laugh. I love laughing. I love to lose myself in a world filled with possibilities. And I love to lose myself in fantasies surrounding Korean Actors. Can you blame me? No. What’s a girl to live for?

If I’m not watching a Korean Movie, I’m seeing an Anime. I love me some very unrealistic characters. It’s only in anime that the expressions leaves you a wreck of aching ribs and watery eyes. I mean, have you watched Anya in Spy X Family? When you watch her, you understand where I’m coming from. It’s therapeutic.

These are my favourite pastimes to undo the stress of any day. In fact, before I started writing this, I watched an episode of Tomorrow featuring my lovely Kim Rowoon.

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Seeing faces like his just takes away the whole stress in my day. I’m sure God created him with so many ladies (like me) in mind. Only his face is enough medicine if you ask me.

I’m taking the day off tomorrow. My body has been showing signs of fatigue and I can’t ignore it anymore. I will rest both physically and mentally tomorrow and begin again after. My health is more important than work.

Making this decision was not easy at all. Anyone who knows me knows how much I value work - whatever it may be - and how much I could work till I drop. But I have made the decision to put my health first. I know I won’t regret it.

Lead Photo by Dmitry Demidov from Pexels