In His Love (LOH #250)

I read something somewhere that stated that my attitude towards life is as a result of my roots. Meaning, the way I treat the things and people around me is inevitably how I look at myself.

To back this up, I saw somewhere that beautiful people see everyone as beautiful and ugly people see everyone as ugly. Not the physical appearance but the soul. If you are a good person, you will always see the good in people and if you’re a terrible person, your perspective towards people and life would be askew. We communicate through our glasses.

Regarding the topic of self-love, I don’t know how to explain this without sounding like a bullshitter or overzealous person. I learned first and foremost that to love others, we need to learn to love ourselves first. We are our first project. When we don’t do well with reading and communicating with ourselves, there’s no way we can do so with others. Some people spend so much time doubting themselves and their abilities that it becomes impossible for them to see why anyone would want them or be interested in them.

Now, I can’t use my past knowledge on nurturing myself because it’s been so long ago. I don’t even remember when or how I started to trust my abilities and believe in myself. I don’t know how I went from brushing off compliments to just saying Thank you because I know I am worth it. I did not used to feel that way. I was always the lowest vessel in my own eyes.

Now, I grew not just in age but mentality. I came to realise that self-love doesn’t come just from affirmations or yoga. It doesn’t come from hitting the gym, eating right or doing some tedious skincare routine. Self-love comes from trying something new. It may vary for others but for me, I began to enjoy my company more when I started to leave my comfort zone. I began to learn new things; skills. Each time I got it right it, I gave myself a pat on the back. When I couldn’t get it right, it was an invitation to show more resilience wrapped in love towards the person I was becoming. I learned to love myself with the flaws, the mistakes and the imperfections because I am Human.

I also realised that in order to fully accept and appreciate the person I am, I had to get closer to He who made me. Now, remember I said it varies from people to people. My anchor, I realised, lies in the very Person I rejected and denied. Jesus Christ. Getting to know Him through word study opened my eyes to something I can’t ever forget: the extent of my value. The weight of my worth. I am way too precious.

This was how I came to fully accept all that I am. I am loved. I am accepted flaws, imperfections and mistakes, wholly and unconditionally. Nothing could beat that. So yeah, that has been my anchor. That was how I began to see just who I am and whose I am.

I can’t tell you how to begin to love yourself. Everyone finds different ways to do so, with or without God. This is just MY way. Remaining in the knowledge of His Love. That is all it takes for me to regain my self confidence when the storms hit and the sands sink. His Love is my anchor.