MY FEAR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING

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Public speaking is one thing I have feared for so long, in the past. Whenever It was required of me to stand before a crowd or audience and address them, it was as if I was no longer in control of my body. My hands would begin to shake involuntarily, my palms would get all sweaty and the ridiculous drumming of my heart against my ribcage was always so hard to ignore. I couldn't understand my body’s reaction to this. Sometimes I had no control over it. It reacted faster than my mind could calm me down.

I think the mere act of being seen, evaluated and analyzed by people was what prompted this fear in me. Being an introvert, I always preferred being hidden, staying under the spotlight, as background actors rather than the main character. I dreaded too much attention even though somehow I always seemed to attract it without trying.

My fear of public speaking was so bad, that each time I was to present before a crowd of people, my brain would instantly go into overdrive. Various questions like? What if something goes wrong? What if I forget what I’m supposed to say? What if they ask questions I can't answer? What if they laugh at me? kept popping in my mind. My thoughts would grow louder in my head, overpowering all logic and common sense. And before I knew it, my mind would become a blank mess. I would know what to say but instantly forget it or be unable to say it.

This fear ruled me for many years. It consumed me. And the thing about fear is that it convinces you of things that aren't even real or true. So one day I made a life changing decision to conquer the art of public speaking. To do that, I had to face my fears, embrace them and go to them constantly.
So I began accepting opportunities that allowed me to speak more in public or to a large audience. Also I realized that, despite the anxiety that would hit me at first, the outcome was not as bad as I had imagined it would be in my head. People were usually more understanding. They listened not to judge or criticise but to learn and grow.

I sought to prepare extensively for a speech I was to give. and I practised everyday, with people around me. I made it a point to talk to strangers and new faces everyday even though it was hard. At first, I didn't know what to say. My mind would become blank. But as I pushed on, the tension would slowly fade away, my mind would relax little by little and I would see myself in full control of the conversation.

My fear of public speaking I can now proudly say is a thing of the past. It no longer defines me. Although, once in a while I still get those funny anxieties right before a presentation or speech. But experience has taught me how to work through it. Now I am more confident, resilient and confident in my own voice. Sometimes, fear is just a false experience appearing real. Nothing else