Love Isn't Enough.
Marriage to me is sacred, maybe because of how I'm being brought up, I can't say, but I grew up believing in it. I see how people get united together to become one, I see how they at times go to court to do the needful or stand before the alter to make a vow. And I very well still believe it, even till now, not because I've seen people who get married have it all easy and all of that, but because it feels somehow deep in a different kind of way. You know what I mean... Like you choosing to stay no matter what comes your way, either it's all good or when it's the other way round.
And to some extent, I think I know why some people are actually stepping back from such commitment, because it is a commitment. Life's different now, not like how it was back then... Today we see broken homes, some of those that are deciding to not go for it too that I know are a product of broken homes and they at times talk and think of the silent suffering their parents have had to suffer, and how that marriage may feel like a bondage/prison instead of partnership. So, most of them want freedom, peace and control of their own lives...and I can't blame them for that.
Because of a truth, I'm not married yet, but there are times I sit down to think, and to ponder on what is really holding people's marriage together, especially when things get tough and they aren't having it easy, maybe life began to hit them and things weren't going as planned or a change happens to their status, finance and such...how do they cope? What exactly is helping them hold on together? Because in all honesty, love is not and cannot be enough at that time. I think it's that commitment. The commitment that they started with, that commitment to stay despite whatever...
And I say that because life will always come for us, either in marriage, business, or whatever...life will test us. So, family to me isn't just about when everything is going on well and sweet, but as well about the other or opposite times too, a lot of things comes into play when you're in, talk of love, talk of commitment, talk of endurance, talk of understanding and a whole lot more. And I'm not saying it in the negative way now.
Just imagine you're married and then you have a kid who's sick and all, what will you do? Will you leave the marriage or let go of that child? No, you will stay, you will love him because he/she is your child, you will stay with him/her and encourage him, you will endure whatever it is he's/she's doing while understanding the situation he's/she's in. So, marriage between both partners as well can be frustrating, tiring, confusing and all, but you just have to stay to build it instead of replacing it.
In conclusion, I would love to add that I personally do not think marriage is the problem, but how we tend to navigate it is, how we enter into it matters, how we understand it, who we enter into it with matters and lastly how we sustain it if it wants to go sideways.... That's what matters. And in answering the questions of marriage, I will love to say so far you still believe in staying with something, building a thing (maybe business) and in choosing something regardless of its cost...then you still believe in that union (marriage) because that is what it is about too.
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Most people marry the wrong person, you need to find someone you can suffer with not just have fun with the good times are easy.
If you can suffer with someone that is the right person.
To make it clear i have been with my wife for almost 30 years we rarely argue, raised 4 children and fostered many, not just children but adults in need also.
I married my best friend the truth is you need friendship as a base without it people will struggle.
Above all else we are the best of friends, me and my wife, there is nothing we are not willing to suffer for each other, i would do this for no one else.
Marriage isn't the problem as always it is the people and their agendas's.
The way you navigate and be successful is to be willing to suffer and even die for your partner otherwise are you even married?
Have the best day @marsdave
Hope you find your queen
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Huhm, this is beautiful and very thoughtful of you.
I sighed reading through this, and indeed we must be willing to really suffer for the other person, we shouldn't just be there to enjoy the good times but tonas well stand talk when life comes at you both.
Thanks a lot for this.
Very well appreciated š.
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A strong marriage requires good communication, patience, and the ability to handle challenges together. As relationships evolve over time, couples must adapt and grow with each other. Ultimately, a successful marriage depends on mutual understanding, effort, and a shared commitment to building a meaningful life together.