Time Is Ticking, and I’m Still Figuring It Out

Let me be honest. I’m not sure I’ve ever quite cracked how to be efficient with my time. Some days, I wake up ready to be a productivity machine. And when things get done, tasks get checked off, I feel good about myself. But there are also days when I wake up and stare up at the ceiling for a touch too long, and all at once it’s dark out. I scroll a little, chuckle at nonsensical videos, eat junk I don’t need, and then whine about the day being too short. So yeah, I guess you could say I’m a bit of both.” I’m a procrastinator, but I also make a point of trying.

I am always anxious about the value of time.” I’m terrified at how fast it passes. One minute I’m sipping tea, the next it’s midnight. I look back on the day and wonder what I did. It’s crazy how time won’t stand still for any of us, no matter how much we plead with it to slow down. But that hasn’t always helped me change. I still sink into that web of “just five more minutes” that lasts for an hour. I continue to have a hard time starting things even when I know they are important.

That being said, I do find myself in control from time to time. I like making lists. It helps me stay focused. I waste my time far less when I schedule my day. But even so, I sometimes underestimate the time it will take me to complete a task. I will tell myself I can get something done in an hour, and halfway through, I am tired. I believe I have enough time if I’m focused. But that’s a big “if.” The real issue isn’t the 24 hours we have, it’s how we live through them. Our minds drift. Our phones buzz. Someone knocks. Suddenly the day is gone.

When I do complete my primary tasks, I like to breathe. I give myself a small reward. Perhaps, I instead watch an episode of something light or look at photos online. Sometimes I just run out and don’t do anything. These days, that silence seems too rare. I also like to journal, to write about what went well and what didn’t. It helps me see where my time actually went, and what I have to fix tomorrow. It’s not always deep or heavy. Some days, I write “I survived” and that’s enough.

Which now that you bring it up (again, see previous coffee break), if we’re talking about things that waste my time, I have a list. First, the obvious: endless scrolling. Reels, shorts, whatever they’re calling them. One second I’m watching someone toss pasta, the next I’m bingeing on videos of raccoons dancing. It makes no sense. And yet, I watch. Not that we were a good fit anyway. But when we lie there, slipping down into that happy-swampy place, with our hand on our phone, telling ourselves we’re home and we are allowed to just relax, well, we are not relaxing, we’re hiding. That fake rest? It drains more than work.

And I think gossip is a time suck too. And it’s not just talking about people, but even listening. conversations that drain the minutes away, even hours, leaving you feeling heavy for the rest of the day, guilty. Yet another time thief that is a rascal is perfectionism. I’ve wasted far too much time editing one little thing, becoming convinced it had to be just perfect. But done is better than perfect, at least most times.

So where do I stand? Somewhere in the middle. I’m learning. I mess up, then try again. Time is a gift but also a test. And though I’m still working it out, I’d hate to have wasted much of it pretending I had more. Because I don’t.