A Tale Of Two Cultures.

Culture they say is the total way of life of a group of people. Basically culture is that law which encompasses traditions that governs our shared activities especially in terms of morals.

While the cultural practices amongst various tribes differs, it is worth noting that there are certain things which these different tribes have in common. Some of these commonalities include marital rites on brideprice, penalties on adultery, a generally acceptable way of living with right to life and property.

The other day, my friend and I were discussing about the cultural practices of our different tribes and while I shared mine with her she said my ancestors must have operated a matriarch kind of tradition. According to her, that’s the only reason why my tradition would favour the women more than the men unlike hers which favours the latter more.

During the course of our discourse, she went on to share some of her cultural practices with me some of which includes;

Once a woman is married, she no longer has a place in her ancestral home or that of her parents. The implication of this practice is that no matter what happens in her marriage, her maiden family would not mind her as it is expected that after marriage, she's now the responsibility of her husband.

You see, such women are also not entitled to any inheritance in her maiden home as she's no longer considered a part of them. This is why the marriage rites of women in such cultures are usually very expensive.

Whereas in my own culture, marriage does not limit the woman's access to her maiden home as she's always welcome. She's also entitled to inheritance as much as as her brothers and if ever she's in distress her parents and relatives takes it up with the husband not having much role to play in the situation.

Indeed, it was such an interesting conversation we had that day as she was even more intrigued when I told her that in my culture, adulterous women do not directly face the wrath of our ancestors in metting out the consequences of adultery. Instead, it's either her husband or her first son dies as a result of her adulterous act. Basically, such usually happens when the husband is aware of his wife's affairs but chooses to turn a blind eye

Again, in other cases, we have the woman's lover going in for it with his life. After my narration, my friend was perplexed as she could not relate. Usually, in her culture adulterous women die mysteriously and it is assumed the gods or their ancestors killed them. In her bewilderment, she questioned, "so you mean the women go unpunished?"

I laughed as I responded necessarily and went on to inform her on how the penalty is for the woman to pay a fine to her husband's kins men and then kill a goat for the gods of the land.

When I was done talking, my friend had a good laugh as she said a patriarchy system would never let such culture see the light of day.

Truly, we all have our different cultures and traditions uniquely crafted to suit our existence. I remember attending a Kalabari marriage and I immediately fell in love with their marital rites.

As I stood there watching the brides family avail and inspect the boxes of luxury wrappers, expensive jewelleries and other sophisticated gift items (all of which belongs to the bride), I couldn't help but wish to be married in such a manner when my time comes.

A little confession is that the feeling to be married in the Kalabari way was stronger, when I saw the bride's older aunt handover the brideprice to the bride (instructing for her to do it with whatever she pleases).

Sadly for me, my tradition on marital rites do not give me such opportunities.

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Image is mine