Twelve Strokes and a Thousand Eyes

I just couldn't ruin my steeze. They would see me differently, and my rep before them would deplete drastically. So when the officer asked me to pin my head to the ground to be given twelve strokes of cane on my tiny buttocks suspended in the air, I surprised all one thousand students on the assembly ground that day. But I also unlocked something deeper.

How'd I even get myself in such a situation to begin with? Well, it's not that I was late to school or that I stole meat. A list of names was being called out, and I didn't immediately respond when mine was mentioned. "Who's that bastard that doesn't want to come out?" The officer said, and then my name was mentioned the second time. In that moment, I knew it was finished.

I doubled down to the front of the assembly, under the pavilion, where all the teachers would sit during our morning assembly. The next thing he said was, "Your father must be a king for you to be counting my voice." Or something along that line. Not sure how I got promoted from bastard to prince, but okay... Next thing, "Able Rating Matthew, make him pin his head on a stone and deliver 12 strokes of cane."

What a fantastic way to start a Tuesday!

That photo above is exactly what it means to pin your head as a punishment. In my case that day, though, my head was bare and there was a small stone between it and the ground. And I was to be flogged on my buttocks.

I was a senior student. I was no prefect—just an ordinary SS3 student—but I had a reputation to uphold. If you're the kind of senior that would flog and punish juniors, you better brave through hard times, especially before them. So I zeroed my mind and decided that I wasn't going to flinch all through.

One, two, three, four,...twelve. In that difficult position, pinning my head and all strokes served, I didn't move one bit. Everyone was surprised and impressed. They all thought I'd break, cry, or beg for mercy. Me? Senior student with steeze? Neverrr! You will kill me today!

My brother, who was initially afraid I'd be embarrassed like that in public, stood gallant afterwards, boasting that that was his elder brother out there.

Bravery, resilience, strength, willpower, courage—name them. They always start in the mind. I wasn't the strongest or biggest, and neither did I have the skin of a crocodile, but something happened in my mind that allowed me to conquer that moment. However, being able to do that wasn't something I suddenly came to that day.

My everyday life in that military school looked like hell back then. I mean, it wasn't always tough, but the majority of my experience is a lot of suffering. For example, I served most nights in SS1 being drilled out in the cold. And each time I suffered and didn't break, I became stronger. My mind became more resilient.

I didn't enjoy the moment, but it's a reminder of what I can achieve if I set my mind to achieve something. And I've had it work for me in different ways over the years.